I once vowed that I would rather embrace the challenges of single motherhood than introduce a string of men into my children’s lives. After all, their father had walked away long ago, leaving only flimsy excuses in his wake.
The first man I allowed my two sons to meet after a significant period was Mark. It felt right; he embodied the qualities I hoped they would emulate as they grew. I certainly wasn’t on a quest for a father figure—Target doesn’t stock “Dad-in-a-Box.” Yet, I consider myself fortunate to have found him.
I promised myself that I wouldn’t be the kind of woman to compromise her children’s well-being for a relationship or succumb to a fear of solitude, surrounded by a dozen cats, cheap wine, and well-worn romance novels. (Pro tip: To avoid becoming the “cat lady,” just steer clear of cats.) Ultimately, I found one of the good ones.
To all the stepfathers, fill-in-fathers, foster dads, and men who willingly take on the responsibility of raising children who are not their own, thank you. These kids may not be biologically yours, and you owe them nothing but your love for their mother, yet we appreciate your presence every single day—even if we sometimes forget to express it because, let’s be honest, who just let one rip?!
Thank you for caring about their posture at the dinner table and for insisting they don’t act like elementary school is the most exhausting ordeal ever.
Thank you for despising waste on dinner plates from kids who claim, “I’m full,” only to devour a pint of ice cream shortly after. You might be tired of saying, “Finish your dinner,” but we’re relieved someone else is finally taking charge.
Thank you for not batting an eye at the nudity of small boys who detest clothes but dislike showers even more, demonstrating little modesty—unless Mom happens to peek into the bathroom. A boy’s modesty can vanish in an instant at the mere chance of a mom’s gaze!
Thank you for celebrating Mother’s Day with us. Flowers, sweets, and precious moments of solitude are exactly what we needed. Can we start a petition to make that a monthly event?
Thank you for recognizing the sound of a forced burp and putting an end to it, or—when the mood strikes—showing them how it’s really done.
Thank you for upholding our family rules and for implementing consequences for bad behavior. Your stricter approach is what they need, even when we, as their sometimes lenient moms, fail to see it.
Thank you for encouraging us to ease up a little, to loosen the reins, and grant them some freedom. It’s scary; they’re our babies, and the world can be unpredictable.
Thank you for caring about their development into strong individuals who grasp the concepts of right and wrong. Your assertion that “No means no” carries weight beyond what you might realize, even in the midst of a wrestling match. They may not grasp that lesson yet, but we certainly do.
Thank you for giving the shy one time to warm up to you—he really does adore you.
Thank you for planting kisses on their heads when they least expect it, and for allowing them to hug you as tightly as possible whenever the mood strikes.
Thank you for the playful voices, absurd stories, tickle fights, and the joyful exuberance that only a father can provide.
Thank you for the bedtime stories, even if your voice quakes with the novelty of it all.
Thank you for being a better father figure to them than their biological dad ever was. They may not call you “Dad”—yet—but you truly are. Complete with dad jokes, puns, and that lovable dad bod (regardless of what you think your physique looks like).
My boys have no idea how lucky they are that their “Mr. Mark” chose to ignore the echoes of his past and stepped into our lives. They remain unaware of a time when he vowed never to raise another man’s child again. He saw potential in them, in me, and in our family as a whole, taking a courageous leap into the unknown with a woman who promised to never compromise her children’s welfare for any man. I cherish and appreciate him more than I can express—even when I’d prefer if he and the boys could just stop with the farting!
Thank you, and Happy Father’s Day to all the incredible men out there.
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