We all yearn for the sense of community that once existed, where trust and camaraderie thrived. We want to help one another—sharing a Band-Aid, a juice box, or a helping hand. We wish to engage in conversations at the playground rather than scrolling on our phones. We crave belonging and recognize that it truly does take a village to raise children, and we want to reclaim our village.
It’s essential to know that we’re all responsible for the well-being of every child, not just our own. This means that if your child is behaving poorly, I will step in. Likewise, I hope that if my child is misbehaving, you will do the same.
Now, I’m not talking about shouting at your toddler for throwing sand at my child—that’s simply uncalled for and distressing. I’ve experienced strangers reprimanding my kids for their behavior, which only infuriated me. My children have ADHD and may require gentle reminders rather than harsh scolding. Your child might have similar challenges. Therefore, when I intervene, I strive to be understanding, and I hope you do the same.
Let’s be realistic: kids will be kids. At some point, every child will act out. However, certain behaviors warrant intervention, especially if I can’t locate you or if there’s a concern for safety. Here are some situations where I will step in:
- Blatant Meanness: If your child is bullying or name-calling, I will interject. My home does not tolerate such behavior, and I won’t let my kids endure it.
- Physical Aggression: Regardless of who instigated it, any form of violence—be it shoving, hitting, or pinching—will be addressed.
- Clear Danger: My definition of danger may differ from others. If I perceive a risk to your child—like precariously close to a ledge—I will certainly intervene.
- Inappropriate Discussions: If your child is discussing mature topics, such as sexual acts, with mine, I will step in. I want to shield my child from such early exposure.
- Ignoring Boundaries: If a child has explicitly asked another not to touch them and their request is ignored, I will act. Everyone has the right to personal space.
- Toy Theft: If a child snatches a toy from another, that’s stealing, and stealing is unacceptable behavior.
When addressing a child’s inappropriate actions, approach the situation calmly. Avoid aggression; instead, speak gently and at their level. Introduce yourself as “Hi, I’m [Your Name], [Child’s Name]’s parent.” This establishes you as a familiar figure in their world.
Next, identify the behavior: “I noticed you called someone a jerk/touched them/took their toy. That’s not nice, and I’m sure your parents wouldn’t approve.” This way, you invoke the authority of their parents and establish that you hold your own child to the same standards. Finally, state the consequences: “I need you to stop that behavior, or I will need to speak to your parent. If you’re struggling to play nicely, I’m here to help.”
It’s crucial to impose reasonable consequences without being harsh. Offer assistance if necessary, recognizing that some children may need gentle reminders to behave appropriately.
If my child is misbehaving, please tell me immediately. I want to know what happened and how you handled it. If you address it well, I might even bake you cookies, because, after all, we’re in this together, right?
Don’t hesitate to step in when a child is acting out—just do it thoughtfully. Remember, that child may be dealing with challenges you’re unaware of, so approach the situation with kindness and understanding. Everyone is learning how to be a better human, including your kids.
In summary, respect is essential for both children and parents alike. We’re all in this together, doing the best we can.
For more insightful parenting discussions, check out this other blog post on home insemination kit. If you’re navigating the journey of parenthood, resources like Make a Mom can be invaluable. Additionally, Resolve offers excellent information on family building options.