Once a week, I take my youngest son to the local strip mall, where he can hang out with his friends, indulge in greasy fast food, and explore the pet shop while lamenting my refusal to buy him a hamster or rat. Although I know he and his friends don’t always behave like model citizens, he understands the expectations: If he misbehaves, or if I get a call about his disrespectful antics, his outings will be cut short.
Some parents strongly disagree with my decision to let a group of thirteen-year-olds roam freely in the dollar store, fearing they’ll only cause trouble and indulge in sugary snacks. I can assure you they definitely indulge, as evidenced by the candy wrappers I find stashed away in the laundry. However, he is having fun and even learned a valuable lesson after feeling ill from gorging on a giant box of Junior Mints paired with chocolate milk. That’s a parenting victory for me.
I allowed my older son the same freedom when he was younger, letting him ride his bike to meet friends instead of driving him. He never caused any trouble, nor did I receive any complaints about his behavior. While some might say I’m overly cautious with my youngest, thinking he should be more independent at 13, I know my kids well. They each have different needs, and I adapt my parenting style accordingly.
Growing up in the ’80s and ’90s, we didn’t have labels for parenting styles. My mother would say that as long as kids weren’t harming anyone, no one really cared what they were up to. We now call that “free-range parenting,” though some might label it neglect to let kids walk to the corner store for candy at such a young age.
Today, parenting seems polarized—between extremes like free-range and helicopter styles. But what about those of us navigating a middle ground with common sense as our compass? We find a balance between overly tracking our children and sending them out to play with the instruction to stay out until dark.
There are moments when I keep a closer eye on my kids, especially if they are recovering from an illness or injury. To outsiders, this may appear as helicopter parenting. Conversely, a mother allowing her 10-year-old to go to the movies with friends might have a good grasp on her child’s behavior and know someone at the theater who will alert her to any mischief—this could seem like free-range parenting.
There is indeed a middle ground, a comfortable space for parents who aren’t hovering but also don’t let their kids completely fend for themselves. We can create rules and guidelines while allowing them the freedom to express themselves creatively. This is often referred to as dolphin parenting, a style that has proven effective for many families, including mine.
For instance, I don’t impose strict academic expectations on my kids, nor do I punish them for average grades. As an average student myself, I believe my kids can thrive just as I have. However, there are still consequences for rude behavior or disrespectful actions when we’re out in public.
That doesn’t mean I ignore their academic progress or dismiss complaints from neighbors about misbehavior. I’m still the one in charge—most of the time, anyway.
Finding that middle ground feels right for me. People can label it however they wish, but as long as my kids have the freedom to learn from their mistakes and I’m here to guide them, I’ll happily remain in this balanced space.
For more insights on parenting and family life, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re interested, you can also visit this informative blog post for additional guidance.
In summary, dolphin parenting represents a balanced approach where freedom and structure coexist, allowing children to grow and learn under the watchful eyes of their parents.