When I was just eight years old, a visit to the school nurse led to a letter sent home, suggesting I might have ringworm. My parents took me to the pediatrician, expecting a quick fix, perhaps some anti-fungal cream that would clear up the little red patches on my legs in no time. But the diagnosis was more complicated: I was referred to a dermatologist and discovered that I actually had psoriasis.
Since then, I’ve been navigating the challenges of living with this skin condition. There are several types of psoriasis, but I have plaque psoriasis, the most prevalent form. It’s caused by an overactive immune system that manifests as a skin disorder. My skin cells multiply at an accelerated rate, preventing them from shedding properly. This results in red, scaly patches known as plaques, which can be itchy and painful. Because it’s an autoimmune condition, treating it isn’t as simple as applying lotion or exfoliating. While my skin shows the symptoms, the underlying issues are multifaceted.
It’s important to note that psoriasis is not contagious and isn’t a reflection of my actions. Unfortunately, there’s no straightforward at-home remedy to eliminate it, and dietary changes won’t cure it. It’s not just a rash—this condition originates from within, and it’s a persistent challenge.
While my psoriasis is manageable compared to others who suffer more severely, it can still be quite frustrating. Some people experience debilitating forms of psoriasis, and others may even face related health issues like arthritis or cardiovascular strain. I am thankful that my case isn’t life-threatening, but it can still be disheartening.
Fortunately, while psoriasis isn’t curable, it can be treated. Many individuals may not achieve complete clearance, but biologics—a type of injectable medication that targets the immune response—have shown promise for many. I personally administer two injections once a month and have seen some positive changes. My face and ears are now clear, and my chest has improved as well. However, I still have patches on my arms, legs, scalp, and stomach that remain stubbornly red and flaky.
For me, the physical symptoms are manageable. With the guidance of a dermatologist and regular use of a high-quality moisturizer, I can control much of the discomfort. Gentle exfoliation helps reduce flaking, and I’ve learned to cope with the physical aspects of having scaly skin.
Yet, the most challenging part of psoriasis is the impact it has on my self-esteem. When my skin is covered in red, flaky patches, it’s tough to feel beautiful. I often find myself frustrated when I allow psoriasis to undermine my confidence.
Unlike many, I’ve always been comfortable with my body size. I’ve never let societal expectations dictate how I feel about myself. It took time, but I’ve embraced my body and the space I occupy. In fact, I find joy in seeing other plus-size women confidently showcasing their bodies on social media. However, when it comes to my skin, I often struggle to project that same level of confidence.
Seeing a flawless model with smooth, glowing skin can trigger feelings of envy rather than admiration. Last summer, I wore a bikini for the first time at the beach with my friends, and while I felt great, I was momentarily deflated when I saw a friend with perfect skin. In that moment, my confidence wavered as I compared myself to her.
I consciously choose not to hide my plaques, just as I refuse to conceal my body in shame. I remind myself that I didn’t choose to have psoriasis, and it’s not something I can easily alter. I strive to live boldly, despite my insecurities.
Although I know others aren’t scrutinizing my skin like I do, my feelings of insecurity remain. No one has ever made hurtful comments about my condition; those who notice tend to express concern for my comfort. Yet, this is a personal journey, and my imperfect skin often makes me feel less than.
I understand that I’m not alone in this struggle. Millions share similar experiences with skin disorders, and many others can relate to feelings of inadequacy. It’s a universal aspect of the human experience.
I remain hopeful that with continued treatment, I may one day achieve clearer skin. Until then, I am committed to embracing my journey and living life to the fullest with the skin I have. Just as I haven’t allowed my body size to hold me back, I won’t let my skin condition deter me either.
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Summary:
Living with psoriasis has its challenges, but it’s a journey filled with resilience. Though the skin condition impacts self-esteem, embracing who I am—both in body size and skin—helps me live life fully. My hope is to achieve clearer skin while continuing to fight against the insecurities that arise from this condition.