As I reflect on my journey through motherhood, I can’t help but think I’m transforming into my mom. It’s more than just the peculiar taste in oversized pajamas or the shared struggle of maintaining a clean car for more than a few days. When I find myself on the porch after a delightful evening with friends, anxiously reminding them to text me when they arrive home safely, I see my mother’s spirit shining through.
We both have fair skin that burns at the slightest hint of sunlight and fine hair that refuses to hold a curl. On the bright side, we both have beautiful voices and can pull off a bold red lip during the day without looking overdone. While I’ve always recognized our physical similarities and quirky habits, hitting my mid-thirties has made me realize the connection runs much deeper.
I am shaped by my mother’s influence, and I’m embracing the best parts of her. Here are just a few valuable lessons I’ve learned from her that I carry with pride.
1. Dedication to Work
My mother’s career has taken various forms over the years, but her unwavering commitment to excellence has always shone through. Raised in an environment where traditional gender roles were dismissed, I watched my mom balance her career, motherhood, and personal ambitions. She wasn’t a full-time homemaker, which expanded my worldview about what women can achieve.
When I became a mother myself, I felt called to stay home, but recently, an incredible job opportunity came my way that I couldn’t pass up. Transitioning from a stay-at-home mom to a thrilled work-at-home mom has reignited my mother’s drive within me. I relish the deadlines, brainstorming sessions, and the joy of earning my own paycheck. Thanks to her, I feel no guilt about dividing my time between work and family. I know that both my children and I benefit from this balance, and that’s a win-win.
2. The Gift of Hospitality
Beyond her ambition, my mother’s warm and inviting nature has always been a cornerstone of her success. She has a unique ability to forge friendships in unexpected places, turning strangers into lifelong pals. Our home was a hub of laughter and love, a place where both sorrow and celebration were shared around our kitchen counter.
Now, as I gather friends around my table, cooking delicious meals, I realize just how much I’ve inherited from her. Whether I’m stirring marinara sauce or setting the mood for a gathering, I can feel her presence in the way I nurture those around me.
3. The Strength to Let Go
Growing up, I sometimes perceived my mother as having a hidden coldness. While she is ever-loving and friendly, she has an uncanny ability to sever ties with those who cause her distress or disrupt her family’s harmony. I’ve witnessed her do this a few times, always with clarity and decisiveness.
Initially, I thought this trait might signify a lack of emotion, but I now understand that she mourns those losses deeply. Her heart is tender, yet her resolve is unwavering. She doesn’t chase after closed doors.
Thanks to her, I now prioritize my peace over the need to maintain every relationship. I’ve learned it’s possible to love someone while also recognizing when it’s time to walk away. Becoming like my mother means I won’t waste time on those who don’t deserve my energy.
While I see aspects of my dad in my personality as well, I’m grateful for the influence of strong women and mentors in my life. Ultimately, I’ve crafted my identity by choosing who I want to be. I embrace the ways I’m becoming like my mother, and I see her strength reflected in me. Looking in the mirror, I don’t always love every single thing I see, but I’m never disappointed to see her.
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Summary
In the journey of motherhood, many women find themselves adopting traits from their mothers, both good and bad. Embracing the skills and lessons learned from our mothers, such as dedication to work, the importance of hospitality, and the strength to let go, can help shape our identities. As we reflect on these influences, we realize we are not just becoming replicas of our mothers; we are evolving into the best parts of them while forging our paths.