I have a deep appreciation for discussions about emotions—my own and those of others. Talking about feelings, whether they’re challenging or uplifting, comes easily to me. I thrive on meaningful conversations about joy, fear, trauma, and aspirations. In my view, emotions aren’t strictly good or bad; rather, they can be categorized as either manageable or difficult. Even the toughest feelings can be beneficial if they lead to personal growth.
However, there are moments when I don’t feel equipped to confront my struggles. I’ve learned to wait until I feel mentally strong enough to discuss certain topics. When I’m in a good place—free from intense anxiety—I find that sharing my burdens with a trusted friend often leads to profound insights.
A professional therapist can be a valuable ally in navigating complex emotions. If you’re facing overwhelming feelings, you might be dealing with anxiety or depression. Please reach out for help; you deserve support, and your well-being matters.
Instilling emotional awareness in my children is a priority for me. A few months back, I had an enlightening conversation with my son after he lied to me. He’s usually quite honest, so when he told me an outright falsehood, I was taken aback. While the lie itself was minor, it was crucial for him to grasp the significance of truthfulness.
I approached him directly, making it clear that I knew he wasn’t being truthful. I expressed that I was disappointed but not angry. Our family has a rule against lying to ensure his safety, and we often discuss the differences between surprises and secrets. I assured him that he could always be honest with me.
Seeing him in tears was heartbreaking. My instinct was to comfort him and dismiss the issue, but I knew this was a learning opportunity. I held him close, letting him express his feelings of being “bad, sad, and sorry.” I explained that feeling remorseful is a sign of a good heart, and regret can serve as a guide to make better choices in the future. That night, my son learned that difficult emotions can be valuable teachers.
I strive to practice what I preach. Recently, I experienced the loss of a significant friendship, which was incredibly challenging. Mourning a friend who is still alive but no longer part of your life is a complex grief. I tried to keep my sadness private, but my children were always nearby, and they witnessed my tears.
In my honesty with them, I shared that I was sad and missing my friend. I explained that adults also cry when overwhelmed, just like kids do. I reassured them that my sadness wouldn’t last forever; it was merely a moment I had to navigate.
My six-year-old was unfazed by my tears—he simply understood. Even my three-year-old showed empathy; when he found me upset, he patted my back and suggested we call Dad. It was heartwarming to see how instinctively he knew how to comfort me.
Now, a couple of months later, I feel at peace again. The loss of that friendship was incredibly tough, but it opened the door for conversations about sadness and loss with my kids. My own emotional journey has allowed me to teach them valuable lessons.
Recently, a loved one received a distressing medical diagnosis. As they struggled to articulate their feelings, I simply listened and responded, “I know. I understand.” There were no words that could ease their pain, and minimizing their experience wouldn’t help. They need to process their feelings fully, letting each wave of emotion come and go.
I want my children to grow up as compassionate, wise, and courageous individuals—capable of handling the emotional challenges of adulthood with grace. Part of this involves allowing them to experience the consequences of their decisions. When they break a rule, it’s essential for them to face the aftermath.
We must prepare our children for life’s difficulties and help them recognize that sadness, fear, and regret are all part of existence. While it’s crucial to feel these emotions, we must also learn to manage our reactions. As I tell my kids, “It’s okay to feel mad, but it’s not acceptable to take it out on others.”
Ultimately, I believe that some of life’s most profound lessons emerge from our struggles. We must resist the urge to shield our loved ones from hardship and instead embrace the inevitability of difficult emotions, learning from them along the way.