Parenting
By Jamie Parker
Updated: July 14, 2020
Originally Published: July 3, 2019
Image Credit: Lisa Stokes/Getty
I don’t dislike my son’s name, but honestly, I can’t say I’m in love with it either.
His first name is fine—Tristan. Eleven years ago, it felt like a trendy and unique choice, but now it’s become quite popular. I have to admit, there’s a certain satisfaction in having been a trendsetter.
However, it’s his middle name that gives me pause. Curious why? Well, his middle name is Flip.
Now, I know some of you may be rolling your eyes, recalling much worse names you’ve encountered. Sure, I’ve heard some real doozies. In high school, I knew a kid named Larry Moe. No joke. Every year, when teachers called roll, they would ask him where Curly was. His frown would darken, and we could see the frustration in his eyes. We all thought he might just snap one day over his unfortunate name.
But Flip? It’s not the worst name. The issue is, I was much younger when we named him—just 24. Now at 36, I look back and realize I thought it was a cool, distinctive name that would make him popular. I even wished I could have that name myself!
I argued with my wife and anyone who dared to share an opinion on the matter. When you get married, you have to choose your battles, right? Well, I dug my heels in on this one and eventually, we decided it would be his middle name. I was so sure he would embrace it and go by Flip. Who wouldn’t think that name was awesome?
Fast forward 11 years, and he doesn’t use it at all. In fact, he seems to shy away from it.
Many people tend to hide their middle names. My own middle name is Ronald, named after my grandmother, Ronelda. While it’s meaningful, I always dreaded the association with Ronald McDonald during my teenage years. The last thing I wanted was to be linked to a clown selling burgers and fries.
I doubt my son makes that connection, but every time we meet new teachers or visit doctors, they come across his name on official documents, hesitate, and then say, “Flip?” with that judgmental look. I glance at my son, and he has a similar expression to what Larry Moe had back in school, and I worry he might one day unleash his frustrations about his name.
Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration. What really happens is he looks down, embarrassed, as if he wishes he could change it.
That’s the tricky part about naming a child. We’ve all heard the phrase, “What’s in a name?” In most cases, it can carry significant weight. When I named my son, I think I was more focused on giving him a quirky name that would stand out rather than considering that he might not want that kind of attention and could prefer to shine for his own reasons.
I can’t be the only parent who has regrets about their child’s name. I once met a kid at the park named Pantera, and I couldn’t help but scratch my head in confusion. It’s possible that naming a child can dig up complicated feelings. Maybe you named your child after someone who later hurt you, and every time you call their name, it brings back painful memories. That’s not the child’s fault, but it can still be a heavy burden to carry.
Looking back, I sometimes wish I had chosen a more conventional name for my son—something that wouldn’t draw so much attention. Or perhaps I should have skipped a middle name altogether. Sure, I could change it, but I’m not likely to go that far. Maybe one day he’ll embrace it, or even decide to change it himself. Who knows?
For the most part, he doesn’t seem to mind his middle name, and I’m thankful for that. But when it does come up, I can’t help but feel a little regret. Just don’t let my wife know!
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Summary: Naming a child can be a complex and sometimes regretful journey. The author reflects on naming his son Tristan Flip and the struggles that come with a unique middle name. While he initially believed Flip would be a standout name, he now finds his son feels embarrassed by it. This experience highlights the importance of considering a child’s feelings when choosing a name.