Updated: July 31, 2016
Originally Published: June 18, 2015
I’ve been bracing myself for this moment for as long as I can remember. The age of 40 has been like a lighthouse on the horizon, beckoning me closer, challenging me to take the plunge. Those who have crossed this threshold before me have offered mixed reviews: “It’s all downhill from here,” some say, while others reassure me with “Forty isn’t so bad” and “Soon enough, you’ll see.”
Someday.
As a kid, 40 seemed like a distant planet where people threw parties filled with black flowers and gifts declaring “Over the Hill.” In my teenage years, that milestone felt impossibly far away; I could never imagine being that old.
By my twenties, I was aware of 40, but it still seemed like a far-off dream, a “someday” in the future—like Sally lamented in When Harry Met Sally, I thought I had time, at least eight more years, right?
Then I hit my thirties, and reality began to set in. Now, 40 stood before me like a gatekeeper, heralding the arrival of “Over the Hill” gifts that I could soon call my own. And now, that day has arrived. I’m standing right at the threshold.
Forty.
Yes, I’m turning 40. The Big 4-oh. And just like Sally’s famous declaration, that “someday” is here—not in eight years as Harry comforted her, but right now.
And honestly? I’m not entirely sure what to think. It’s daunting. It’s unexpected. It comes with thighs that seem foreign to me. But you know what? It’s better than I anticipated.
My version of 40 includes:
- Surrounding myself with friends who uplift me and want to be part of my journey, while bidding farewell to those who don’t.
- Scheduling yearly mammograms that, let’s be real, are quite painful.
- Finding my voice and expressing it freely—something I never had the courage to do in my twenties, because now I’m an adult.
- Saying goodbye to those who raised me, mentored me, and molded me into who I am today.
- Embracing my body, even if my thighs don’t fit the mold.
- Watching friends navigate their divorces.
- Celebrating this milestone with friends who show up in a white limo with champagne instead of black flowers.
- Being married to someone who understands my quirks and is committed to the long haul.
- Accepting that I could care less about Common Core math and that’s just fine.
- Listening to ‘80s music and realizing that “Hangin’ Tough” was never really that tough at all.
- Preparing my kids for their independence in the coming years and hoping I’ll be ready to let them go.
- Launching a new writing career.
- Witnessing friends work to save their marriages.
- Juggling braces, glasses, and college funds.
- Learning to say no without worrying about how it sounds.
- Thankful that my body still allows me to run marathons.
- Investing in quality wine.
- Letting go of that ideal number on the scale and instead welcoming the one I see (mostly).
- Recognizing that I may not have cherished every moment with my children but vowing to do better because time truly flies.
- Hearing the term “Bucket List” and feeling the urgency—Paris and the pyramids are calling my name.
- Ending each day with gratitude for the life I’ve been given.
As I approach this significant birthday, a whirlwind of emotions washes over me: anxiety, nerves, and excitement. I’m astonished by how quickly 40 has arrived, and I’m hoping the next 40 years will move at a more manageable pace—at least one I can keep up with.
When I blow out my candles, I’ll make wishes, set my intentions, and dream about what’s to come. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that my 40s will be as fulfilling as I hope they will be—because I’ll be 50 someday.
This article was originally published on June 18, 2015.
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In summary, turning 40 brings a mix of emotions and experiences, from newfound confidence and deeper connections to the bittersweet nature of growing older. It’s a time for reflection, celebration, and embracing the journey ahead.
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