To my calm, easygoing middle child: I want to express my heartfelt apologies. You are the kind of kid that makes parenting seem effortless, the one that every parent dreams of having. While that’s a blessing for our family, it inadvertently means you often go unnoticed. It’s time to acknowledge that you deserve more recognition than you’ve received.
Let me clarify: Our love for you is just as strong as it is for your more demanding siblings. It’s simply that you don’t require as much attention, or so it appears. The saying goes, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease,” and unfortunately, you are not the squeaky one. You don’t need extra help with schoolwork or frequent meetings with teachers because you’re doing just fine. Your teachers often speak highly of your helpfulness and respectfulness. Your life, in many ways, is wonderfully straightforward. We are all fortunate for that.
However, being sandwiched between siblings who naturally demand more of our energy means you often get overlooked. You are like the calm in a storm, while they create waves that need our immediate attention. I often find myself rushing to address their needs, while you remain quietly content. You’re like a dish that simmers without fuss, yielding great results without the constant attention that other meals require. As a result, we tend to focus on those who need more help, leaving you to thrive on your own.
After particularly exhausting days, I sometimes look at you and feel a wave of relief knowing that at least one of my children is easygoing. My love and gratitude for you overflow, especially in those moments. You ask so little from us, just going along with the flow without the back-and-forth that your siblings sometimes engage in. Your patience and agreeable nature often lead us to let you navigate your own path.
But just because you don’t require special attention doesn’t mean you don’t deserve equal recognition. This is where we’ve fallen short. Sometimes we’re so caught up in life’s complexities that we fail to fully appreciate the beauty of your simplicity. It’s time for us to change that.
It’s not right that we allow you to get by with just a quick compliment here and there. It’s not fair that we focus most of our energy on your siblings simply because you are easier to manage. Most importantly, it’s unacceptable that we’ve expected you to be okay with this. Our actions have inadvertently sent the message that you’re less important, that your needs matter less. And that couldn’t be further from the truth. You should know every day just how vital and irreplaceable you are to our family.
We’ve been wrong, my dear, and our “if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it” approach is over. I commit to making changes: I will stop overlooking you and become more present in your life. I promise to acknowledge the wonderful things about you, rather than only addressing issues when they arise. I’ll pay attention to your needs, even when you don’t vocalize them. I commit to spending quality time with you, not just to resolve problems but to enjoy your company and shower you with love. Your compliance should be celebrated, not taken for granted. From this point forward, you will receive the attention you rightly deserve.
The squeaky wheel certainly gets the grease, but we will ensure you receive your fair share of love and recognition, whether you’re vocal or silent.
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In summary, I recognize that my easygoing child deserves the same love and attention as the rest, and I am committed to making that a priority moving forward.