When my partner and I decided to start our family, we followed the typical path. We tracked my ovulation using a predictor kit until we spotted the coveted smiley face. After that, the next logical step was to take a pregnancy test to confirm I was, indeed, expecting. Sounds simple enough, right?
The pharmacy’s aisle was lined with countless pregnancy tests, and I felt an awkward embarrassment as I stood there, contemplating my options. Why are there so many? After scrutinizing each box, I picked one based on its appealing colors and headed home.
Upon arriving, I was greeted by the test, which seemed to beckon me: “Hey there! Let’s find out if you’re pregnant. It’s easy, let’s make it official!” Feeling encouraged, I thought, why not? I headed straight to the bathroom, dismissing the instructions because, come on, I’ve seen enough romantic comedies to know the drill: just pee on the stick and wait. So I did.
The result? A glaring negative sign. I was genuinely shocked. I had expected to see a positive. I rummaged through the trash for the instructions, reading them in English, French, and Spanish—twice. That’s when I realized my mistake: I was supposed to use my first morning urine. Of course! I vowed to try again in the morning.
The next day, the result was the same: not pregnant. Or was I? Doubts crept in. Maybe I should take another test, just to be sure. And so began my cycle of what I call EEPT—Excessive Early Pregnancy Testing. It’s a term I coined to explain my compulsive urge to test before it was statistically wise to do so.
If you’ve ever tried to conceive, you know about the two-week wait (2WW) between the moment of conception and when your next period is due. Home pregnancy tests are most accurate after this wait. Yet, some women can test as early as six days before a missed period. I wanted to be one of those lucky women. It wasn’t just about the potential baby; it was about eliminating six days of anxiety-filled calculations, wondering if this was the month.
However, my obsession with testing added layers of self-imposed torture. Over 16 months of trying to conceive, I found myself rationalizing why I needed yet another expensive stick to pee on.
Initially, my thoughts were innocent:
- “If I buy a two-pack, I won’t need more anytime soon.”
- “The box claims up to 79% of women can test early. Maybe I’m one of them!”
But soon, my justifications spiraled out of control:
- “I should stock up while I’m here.”
- “I have extra tests; I might as well use one today.”
- “I’m going out this weekend. Let’s check to be sure.”
- “What if my last test was a false negative?”
It didn’t take long before I found myself obsessing over the minutiae of the tests:
- “Is that a faint plus sign?”
- “Should I wait longer for the results?”
- “Maybe this emotional chaos means I’m pregnant.”
Finally, after 16 months, the day arrived—a clear, unmistakable plus sign. Oh, that’s how it should look! I thought. I shared the joyful news with my partner, and we celebrated the end of the timed intimacy that had brought us both so much stress.
The lesson learned? To take a successful pregnancy test, you actually need to be pregnant. If you think you might have EEPT, my advice is simple: skip the early testing. You’ll receive a clearer result and feel significantly less stressed. Unless, of course, you’re one of the 79%!
For further insights into home insemination, check out this article, or visit Make A Mom for authoritative resources. You can also explore NHS’s IVF guide for comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Early pregnancy testing can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety, often resulting in a cycle of compulsive testing. It’s essential to recognize that the best time for testing is after a missed period for the most reliable results.