Updated: June 21, 2019
Originally Published: June 21, 2019
Just a few hours into a surprise trip to Disneyland with my son, Lucas, I realized how crucial this getaway was for both of us. “I can’t believe we’re really here, just the two of us!” he exclaimed, still processing the fact that we had flown to California instead of just heading out for burritos. (I was just as amazed that I managed to pull this off.)
While his claim wasn’t entirely accurate, the numerous hours I spent with him as a baby didn’t hold much weight in the eyes of a six-year-old. By the time he started creating lasting memories, his younger sister had arrived, followed by another sibling a few years later. I always try to carve out one-on-one time for him, but those moments often feel rushed or fleeting.
When I transitioned into motherhood with multiple children, I frequently found myself prioritizing the needs of my littlest one, hoping (and maybe praying) that my oldest could manage on his own until I was free again. It’s easy to get swept up in the demands of an infant and the chaotic energy of a toddler.
However, older kids – whether they’re six and building LEGO masterpieces or sixteen and driving themselves around – require their parents just as much, even if their needs are expressed differently and may remain largely unvoiced.
For a while, I had sensed that Lucas needed some dedicated time with me. A trip to Disneyland might seem like an extravagant way to provide that, but I believed he was at the perfect age for it. Plus, I knew I’d enjoy it just as much as he would.
Planning our travel itinerary while also coordinating the schedules of my younger kids was quite the task, but seeing the look on Lucas’s face in the car when he learned our destination was worth every ounce of effort. He even jumped out of his seat to check if his suitcase was really in the trunk.
Over those two days, we were at our best. Not perfect, but relaxed enough to converse, laugh, and truly enjoy each other’s company. I discovered shared interests, like how we both preferred another ride on Splash Mountain over grabbing a bite to eat, and I was in awe of the imaginative individual he’s becoming.
In that brief time, amidst a crowd of Disney enthusiasts, my focus was solely on Lucas. It took me back to the days when I could spend hours marveling at his tiny toes without a care in the world.
I will cherish that trip forever. Yet, I also recognize that we can create those special moments without needing to travel far. Sometimes, all it takes is to slow down, put away our devices, and simply be present with each other.
My oldest child doesn’t require me any less than his younger siblings do. The time I have with him is fleeting, and it’s crucial for me to maximize those moments.
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Summary:
Taking time to connect with your oldest child can create lasting memories and strengthen your bond. Even simple moments at home can be just as meaningful as grand adventures. It’s essential to prioritize quality time with each child to ensure they feel cherished and understood.