Three weeks before my due date with my last baby, I found myself sprawled on the cushioned examination table, the all-too-familiar paper sheet crinkling beneath me as my midwife assessed my progress. “Can you please just end my suffering?” I groaned. “What’s going on down there? Can’t you just do something? I feel like I’m about to burst!”
She gently informed me that not much was happening, I wasn’t dilated, and labor would still be a while in coming. “No way! I can feel the baby’s head pressing down, I swear I could fit a bagel in there!” I retorted, suppressing the urge to kick her.
“The pressure you’re feeling is due to a large varicosity that’s developed since our last visit,” she explained, offering me a support garment to help with the discomfort. The image she showed me looked like something out of a poorly made film, and I was tempted to flip the table of medical supplies and warn all the other expectant mothers to flee. But, since I could barely sit up without assistance, I politely declined the contraption that felt like it would constrict my very soul, and requested help to get back up.
Let’s be real: the last month of pregnancy is a struggle, and few are truly enjoying the experience, for several reasons:
- Frequent Urination
Coughing? Be prepared for a little leakage. Sneezing? You’ll find yourself clutching your legs together. A light chuckle? Time to change your outfit. If you manage to make it to the restroom, as soon as you wipe and attempt to pull up those enormous panties, expect more pee to trickle down your leg, leaving you contemplating adult diapers. Bumps in the road feel perilous, bending over is out of the question, and laughter can lead to unexpected golden streams. - Goodbye Comfort
Exhaustion consumes you, but finding a comfortable position to sleep is nearly impossible. Lying down requires an army of pillows, sitting causes numbness in your legs, and everything you eat results in a fiery case of heartburn. You’re so swollen that nothing fits—bras and shoes included—and you wish for the luxury of floating weightlessly in a warm saltwater bath. If you also experience pregnancy rhinitis, nasal breathing becomes a distant memory, leaving you to either mouth-breathe or live under a steam machine. - Irritation with Everyone
Well-meaning friends and family constantly offer unsolicited advice about comfort measures, labor initiation, or how tough their experiences were compared to yours. They rub your belly, urging you to enjoy sleep now because it’ll be a long time before you get to rest again. This only adds to your frustration, especially as you glare at your partner’s peaceful slumber, wishing for a pillow to silence their night-time breathing. If you have other children, you might dream of escaping to a cave for the next month. - Bizarre Bodily Functions
Mucus, blood, urine, and milk flow like a river, and it’s just something you have to deal with. Varicose veins and hemorrhoids make their unwelcome appearances and seem to stick around for good. Your hair and nails grow at an astonishing rate, but since bending over to shave your legs feels like a distant dream, your lower half resembles an untamed jungle. - False Labor Hopes
Every morning, you wake up convinced that today is the day. There’s no way you can continue to lug around this bowling ball while people ask if you’re expecting twins. You feel tightness in your belly when you get up, walk, or even lift a gallon of milk, and you think, “This is it!” But you’re often mistaken.
The final month of pregnancy truly tests your strength and endurance. If you encounter a heavily pregnant woman trying to navigate her last few weeks, please refrain from giving unsolicited advice, commenting on unpleasant odors, or saying, “I can’t believe you haven’t had that baby yet,” unless you’re sporting some form of protective gear.
For more insights and tips, check out our other blog post here, or learn about the science behind pregnancy through resources like News Medical.
Summary
The last month of pregnancy can be a tough and uncomfortable journey filled with frequent urination, lack of comfort, and a general sense of frustration. It’s a time when patience and understanding from others are crucial, as expectant mothers navigate the physical and emotional challenges of waiting for their little ones to arrive.