10 Secrets Only Florida Natives Understand

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Living in Florida provides a unique perspective that transplants and tourists will simply never grasp. Here are ten truths that every native knows by heart.

  1. Parking Spot Priority
    When it comes to choosing a parking space, forget about how close it is to the entrance. The real deal is finding a spot with shade. You can endure the extra steps in the sweltering heat, but entering a car that’s been baking in the sun? No thanks, that’s a recipe for disaster.
  2. Lovebug Season
    Mark your calendars for May and September—lovebug season is here! Your car will become a canvas of bug splatter, and every outdoor event will be a battle against these pesky critters.
  3. Wardrobe Essentials
    Forget about needing a whole drawer for winter clothes. In Florida, a single box in the closet is enough for your sweaters since you’ll hardly ever use them. But make sure you have a dedicated space for your swimsuit collection!
  4. Mastering Local Lingo
    As a native, you’ll have the ability to pronounce and spell tricky Florida town names like Kissimmee, Withlacoochee, Econlockhatchee, Okeechobee, and Islamorada. Watching outsiders struggle with them is a great source of amusement.
  5. Flip-Flops Forever
    The quintessential footwear for any occasion? Flip-flops. In Florida, they’re not just beachwear; they’re even acceptable in church!
  6. Hurricane Preparedness
    Unless a hurricane hits Category 3, you’re likely to sleep soundly through it. Sure, you might tidy up the yard afterward, but there’s no need to panic-buy supplies like water or plywood.
  7. Winter Wear
    Your winter coat is probably just a denim jacket, and wearing a scarf is purely for style—preferably matching your flip-flops, of course.
  8. Gator Spotting
    Cruising the rivers in search of alligators is a favorite pastime, but unless it’s over six feet long, it’s hardly worth your excitement.
  9. Holiday Attire
    If you find yourself dressed in anything other than shorts on Thanksgiving or Christmas, it’s a moment to remember. That year will always stand out as the one where temperatures dipped low enough for a denim jacket.
  10. Scented Memorabilia
    From an early age, you can easily identify two scents: sunscreen and citronella. They’re essential staples for year-round Floridian life.

These gems of wisdom reflect the lifestyle and culture of native Floridians, shaping our unique identity. As our numbers dwindle, it’s vital to preserve these cherished truths. If you’re curious about pregnancy options, check out this excellent resource for home insemination from the CDC. And for those looking for at-home solutions, Make a Mom offers a variety of kits to suit your needs.

In summary, the Florida experience is distinct and filled with nuances that only locals truly appreciate. Keep these secrets close as you navigate life in the Sunshine State.


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