At this point in my life, I find myself growing increasingly frustrated with the term “self-care.” Often, it implies that individuals must go to great lengths to achieve an elevated sense of mental or physical well-being. Activities like getting a manicure, enjoying a long soak in the tub, or treating oneself to a luxurious massage may be appealing, but not everyone has the time, funds, or means to attain these forms of “self-care success.” It simply isn’t realistic.
For myself and many other parents, we often prioritize our children’s needs over our own. Sure, we could carve out some time for ourselves, and occasionally we do, but with only so many hours in a day, sacrifices are inevitable. Something on our endless to-do lists will always have to give way.
In a society quick to dispense advice and offers of help, we often lack those who genuinely step in to lend a hand. We live in a “you’re on your own” culture, where observing someone struggle prompts comments like, “You should really handle that,” instead of offering real assistance.
This is why community organizers like Maria Johnson, who specializes in fostering connections across diverse backgrounds, advocate for a different approach—community care. During a recent conversation, Johnson explained that community care is about “individuals using their privileges to support one another in meaningful ways.”
While community care is still prevalent in various social movements and parts of the world, it remains largely absent from mainstream discussions. It encompasses more than just unsolicited good deeds; it involves standing in solidarity during protests, hosting gatherings to connect with neighbors, and investing in relationships.
Similar to the dedication we show our families, community care extends that ethos beyond blood relations. When we see someone in distress, community care encourages us to lift them up. It allows for emotional openness and helps lighten someone’s burdens—whether that means buying them a meal or simply being there to listen.
It’s also crucial to remember the kindness we receive from others so that we can reciprocate or pay it forward. After all, community care often operates on a “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” principle. Consider it this way: your friends throw a pizza party and ask for help moving. You might dread the thought of packing boxes but know that your efforts will likely be returned when you need assistance. Hopefully, this goodwill comes from a genuine desire to help, too.
“They [the caregivers] understand that when their time comes to need support, others will be there for them,” Johnson shared. Community care thrives on mutual participation, and when practiced, it allows individuals to engage in their own self-care more effectively. Yet, studies show an alarming trend: the number of people reporting that they have no one to talk to about important matters has nearly tripled since 1985.
This is disheartening, especially as I reflect on the overwhelming support I received during a devastating time in my life—the loss of my child. The outpouring of love and assistance from friends and family helped me navigate those dark days. I received countless meals and financial support, which allowed me to grieve properly, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
Without the community around me, I cannot imagine how I would have coped. And now, when the time comes for those individuals to lean on me, I’ll be there for them, just as they were for me. It truly takes a village—not just to raise children but to help each other through life’s challenges. Simple acts of kindness, like buying someone coffee on a dreary Monday, can make a world of difference.
We need more community care because, at times, self-care simply isn’t enough.
Summary
The article emphasizes the importance of community care over self-care, particularly in a society where many people feel isolated. It discusses how community support can significantly impact individuals during tough times and illustrates this with personal experiences. The piece calls for a shift towards collective responsibility and kindness, advocating for deeper connections and support among individuals.