Women naturally tend to analyze situations deeply; it’s part of who we are. As a mother, this tendency morphed into constant self-doubt. I often found myself questioning my role: Was I truly a good mother? Was I setting a positive example for my daughter? Was I living up to my potential? Unfortunately, the answer was a resounding no.
Over time, I developed bitterness and resentment toward my daughter’s father. Without delving into the personal details, I reached a point where I would do anything to escape the house—even if it meant leaving my daughter behind. Grocery shopping? I was on it. Post office errand? Count me in. Work events? I was there, all in an effort to avoid being home. The guilt of leaving my child was overwhelming, but I couldn’t bear being in that environment any longer.
It finally hit me one day as I reflected on my actions, feelings, and my sense of worth as a mother. I was merely a shadow of my former self. Despite the immense love I held for my daughter, it wasn’t enough to keep me in that relationship. I didn’t recognize the angry, exhausted person I had become. I realized that I was the weakest link in our family dynamic, and if I wanted to become the mother I envisioned, I had to leave my daughter’s father. It was, without a doubt, the hardest decision I’ve ever made.
His reaction was one of anger and confusion. He couldn’t understand how I could choose to risk our family life to “find myself.” He questioned how I could justify having our daughter split her time between two homes and how I could expect him to accept that reality.
For me, the answer was simple, even if it wasn’t what he wanted to hear: I am a better person apart from him. This wasn’t solely his fault; I allowed myself to spiral into bitterness and negativity. No therapy could have offered me the transformation that leaving did.
Now, I bring the best version of myself to the time I share with my daughter. Since our separation, I consistently wake up and show up as the happiest version of myself for her. I’ve prioritized self-care more in the past year than I had in the last decade. I’m healthier, excelling in my career, and enjoying my writing. I genuinely look forward to the days I spend with my daughter, cherishing every moment we have together.
In the past, my life was a cycle of stress, and that negativity seeped into every aspect of my world—my job, friendships, and my relationship with my daughter. Since leaving her father, I have been given a fresh start. I am finally becoming the mother I always dreamed of being. I’m happy, healthy, and a positive role model. My daughter has my full attention when we are together, and she knows just how much I love her.
Did this unfold as I had always imagined? Not at all. Society has long painted a picture of a perfect life—falling in love, marrying, having children, and living happily ever after. But that wasn’t my story. Through this journey, my daughter now experiences double the love, families, and happiness. Her dad and I will always be a team when it comes to co-parenting. But a team is only as strong as its weakest link, and thankfully, that link is no longer me.
We are mothers—unique women united by the joys and challenges of motherhood. We are more than just moms; we are partners, friends, and sisters. If you want to explore discussions beyond parenting, check out our Home Insemination Kit. For authoritative resources on home insemination, visit Cryobaby’s Guide. For more information on genetics and reproductive options, Genetics and IVF Institute is an excellent resource.
In summary, my journey through separation has led me to become the mother I always aspired to be. Leaving my daughter’s father was challenging, but it ultimately paved the way for a healthier, happier life for both me and my daughter.