I’m a deeply sensitive person who experiences powerful emotions daily. This sensitivity often comes with an overwhelming urge to apologize for simply being myself. Throughout my life, I’ve been told to just “suck it up” or “stop crying” by daycare workers, classmates, educators, family, and friends. However, as a grown woman with my own children, I now see how absurd and rude those comments were.
In my younger days, an AMBER Alert on TV could send me into a full-blown panic, and I’d pray fervently for the safe return of missing children. Those feelings of empathy are still very much a part of who I am; I wear my emotions openly. Even now, a sad commercial featuring abandoned pets or a friend’s struggles can lead me to tears. I can’t simply brush off the world’s tragedies without feeling personally affected. Occasionally, I even find myself lashing out at loved ones when my emotions boil over.
While my emotional responses may not always be the healthiest, it’s not the feelings themselves but rather how I react to them that sometimes creates issues. It’s crucial to recognize the potential for emotional expressions to unintentionally harm others. For instance, the historical context of “white women’s tears” has been exploited to silence people of color. I am conscious of these dynamics and strive to avoid using my emotions manipulatively.
I also understand the significance of choosing the right time and place for emotional displays. Crying in front of my children isn’t ideal, yet I often struggle to detach my personal feelings from the broader world. When I realize I’ve wrongly apologized for simply being human, it’s frustrating. Emotions are a natural part of our humanity—so why the stigma against those who openly express vulnerability?
Those raw feelings should be celebrated; they originate from the deepest parts of our hearts. Caring profoundly shouldn’t be viewed as a weakness. There are days when I wish I could be the person unaffected by life’s chaos, but that’s not who I am. If someone hurts my feelings or I’m having a tough day, I fight to suppress the tears, even telling myself not to cry. Yet, despite my best efforts, the tears still flow.
I recognize that I shouldn’t weaponize my tears, and while I may struggle to control my emotions at times, I can excuse myself from situations where my feelings might hurt others. Accepting my emotional nature is part of my identity. Unfortunately, societal expectations often lead me to prioritize others’ feelings over my own expression. In trying to shield those around me, I end up stifling my own emotional truth.
But I refuse to suppress who I am. I won’t apologize for feeling deeply, nor will I conform to the harsh expectations of others. The judgment some people cast on emotional expressions is hypocritical, as they too experience emotions like anger and annoyance. These feelings can lead to outbursts just as valid as displays of sadness or joy, and it’s time for that stigma to dissipate.
So, when I find myself moved to tears or deeply saddened, I will not force myself to “pull it together.” I will embrace the moment, emotions and all. Yes, the world can be unforgiving, and it can be difficult for those of us who feel intensely. But why should I feel compelled to toughen up to appease others? Should I apologize for my emotions simply because they make someone uncomfortable? Or can I simply allow myself to feel freely?
I choose the latter. I am a living, breathing human being with emotions that sometimes feel uncontrollable, even as an adult. I am passionate about what I believe in and the people I love, and there’s nothing wrong with displaying that passion for others to see. This is my truth, and I won’t apologize for it.
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In summary, embracing our emotions is essential to our humanity. We should not feel pressured to hide or apologize for how we feel. Instead, we should celebrate the authentic expression of our feelings as part of our identity.