The last time the kids had a break from school, I found myself at home as well. On that very first Monday, I blinked and suddenly there were six kids running around my living room. Just to clarify, I only have two!
Assessing the situation, I realized there was only one logical solution: bake cookies. So, I got to work. And just like that, the kids kept streaming in throughout the week.
Growing up, my house was similar, but the influx of friends didn’t happen until we were teenagers. With four siblings close in age, our home became the go-to hangout spot—not because we had an endless supply of snacks or a super attentive parent, but because my mom was approachable and relaxed. She was juggling a full-time job, classes, and a social life, so the pantry wasn’t always full, and she didn’t fuss over us too much. Yet, she welcomed an endless stream of friends, who often gathered in the basement with my older brother or congregated around the living room table for late-night card games.
Like my childhood home, mine today is a bit chaotic. I don’t yet have teenagers, but my two kids manage to scatter their toys, books, and homework everywhere. Legos are always underfoot, and I often wonder, what’s with 7-year-old girls and their socks? The moment their friends arrive, socks seem to fly everywhere! Every evening, we embark on a 10-minute quest to find the TV remote, only to uncover a bizarre assortment of items lodged between couch cushions.
Yet, our home is not just cluttered; it’s filled with laughter and friendship, and I slowly realized I was continuing my family’s tradition. My mom understood the importance of letting her kids’ friends hang out at home, even during our rebellious phases. She knew where we were, which was far better than not knowing. Many of our friends admired her and felt comfortable enough to call her by her first name—a practice I encourage as well. Unlike many of our friends’ parents, she was open-minded, approachable, and not afraid to tackle any subject.
Looking back, there are things I might approach differently as a parent. For example, during my father’s second parenting adventure, he explained the difference between allowing your child a glass of wine at 18 and letting their friends do the same—it’s a tough line to walk. I didn’t appreciate that advice back then, but I understand it now. Still, my mom’s relaxed rules were a significant draw for our friends.
In my own home, while we won’t be condoning underage drinking, we maintain a fairly relaxed environment. With a house full of kids, they dart in and out of the backyard, filling water guns and gearing up with Nerf darts. They’re loud and energetic and often pop their heads in to say hello, which I take as a compliment. One time, a friend of my son’s showed up unexpectedly and asked, “Can I just hang out with you?” How could I refuse?
So, our home is destined to be the hangout spot. While it can be exhausting and chaotic, I know where my kids are and who their friends are. I hope that when they reach their teenage years, they’ll still come around to hang out with us.
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Summary:
In this blog, Jamie shares the joy and chaos of raising kids in a home that has become the ultimate hangout spot for their friends. Drawing on memories of her own childhood, she reflects on parenting styles, the importance of being approachable, and the delightful mess that comes with a bustling household.
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