If you’re as fortunate as I am, you’ve likely encountered that one exceptional friend who has been your unwavering support during life’s toughest moments. That friend is the one whose name pops up on my phone when I need to release pent-up emotions. She comforts me when I’m down, and before long, we’re laughing together. Even though we discovered our friendship later in life, she feels like a soulmate—a true blessing.
Then there’s my friend from school, the one I don’t see often but who instantly takes me back to a time of innocent fun and first love—she reminds me of when my husband was just a crush. Each time we cross paths, her presence brings a youthful sparkle to my day.
My circle also includes fierce feminists, my allies in the ongoing fight for equality. They empower me, share values, and inspire me to keep advocating for the rights I hold dear. We exchange articles and discuss their implications, forming a unique intellectual bond that transcends ordinary friendship.
And who could forget that fun-loving friend who hits the dance floor with me? She’s my musical partner, and while our friendship may not delve into deep waters, it brings joy and excitement into my life.
However, not all friendships uplift me. There are those conversations that leave me feeling drained, like the one with a friend where I hang up wishing I had interrupted the gossip. I question why I didn’t speak up when she shared unkind details about another friend—conversations that leave me with a nagging sense of negativity instead of positivity.
Then there are those friendships that seem to revolve around a cycle of dinner invitations—a back-and-forth where it’s tough to remember why we became friends in the first place. And there’s the painful realization of the friend who betrayed my trust, judging my parenting and criticizing me behind my back. I should have seen it sooner, but it’s easy to cling to the comfort of ignorance.
At 43, I find myself with a long list of friends, adding new confidantes and hesitating to let go of those that no longer serve me. It’s a difficult truth to confront: some friendships simply do not contribute positively to my life.
Instead of tidying up my closet like Marie Kondo, it feels time to reassess my friendships honestly. I want to spend my precious time with those who bring me joy and fulfillment. It’s time to step back from some connections, deepen others, and welcome new friendships into my life.
I plan to reflect on each friendship, cherishing the memories, and asking myself one crucial question: Does this friendship spark joy? If the answer is no, then it’s time to express gratitude and move on.
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In summary, it’s crucial to evaluate the friendships in our lives, cherish those that uplift us, and gracefully let go of those that do not.