As I sorted through my 12-year-old son’s sock drawer, I was hit by a wave of odor that can only be described as downright unbearable. Every single pair of socks reeked, and I mean really stank. Sweat stains adorned each pair, and, trust me, I know the difference between sweat and the other, less savory stains that boys sometimes produce. I used to be a teenage boy myself, so I can confidently say I’ve seen it all.
I was in his room, attempting to help him pack for an upcoming weekend camping trip. He hadn’t asked for my assistance, but I felt it was necessary. After he hurriedly declared he was done packing, I took a peek into his bag. To my dismay, I found one pair of dirty socks, no underwear, no sleeping bag, no toothbrush, and not even a water bottle. Just a few sweats, a T-shirt, some candy, and his Nintendo Switch—truly the essentials.
As I rummaged through his sock drawer searching for clean socks, I couldn’t believe my eyes. “What’s happening here?” I asked. “Why do all of these smell so bad?” He shot me that classic preteen look, the one that says, “Please, just leave me alone.” His hair was a shaggy mess, greasy and tousled as if he just rolled out of bed, and his shoulders slumped in that all-too-familiar way when he’s annoyed.
“I change my socks every day,” he replied. “In the morning, I put on new socks and put the old ones back in the drawer.” He shrugged as if he had just nailed hygiene 101.
I realized then how misguided I had been in assuming he understood that dirty socks belong in the hamper, while clean ones should be worn. Suddenly, everything clicked. It all made sense why I had to almost stick my head out the window during the drive home from soccer practice to escape the foul smell wafting from his shoes.
I can’t quite grasp why maintaining basic hygiene is such a challenge for preteens. Why do I have to remind him to use soap in the shower, only to hear him say, “I forgot”? Why do I have to ask if he changed his underwear, and he replies with a puzzled, “Why?” And why oh why does he insist on wearing the same “outfit” every single day?
This outfit isn’t anything special—a blue zip-up hoodie, black Adidas track pants with a hole in the knee, and a gray T-shirt featuring the cover of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.” Once a week, I practically have to wrestle him to get this ensemble off his body, treating it with stain remover and washing it. You’d think I was trying to peel off his skin. There was even a week I skipped washing it, and oh, the smell that emerged was like nothing I had ever encountered.
We’re at a point where even putting on clean socks feels like an uphill battle, and my patience is wearing thin. I feel like I’m micromanaging every aspect of his hygiene, frequently stating the obvious. I used to check if his toothbrush was wet to confirm he had brushed his teeth, but he caught on. Now I have to literally supervise him while he brushes, my phone timer going off while he glares at me, annoyed that I’m ensuring his teeth don’t decay.
I often say “I have to” do these things, but the truth is, I don’t have to let him live as a smelly, greasy, yellow-toothed boy if I can help it. It’s crucial for him to recognize the importance of hygiene—not just for his own sake but for mine as well.
Of course, we pick our battles. I only insist on him combing his hair on Sundays because introducing a comb on any other day is like bringing a chainsaw into the room. And while I’d love for him to floss, just getting him to brush his teeth feels like a triumph. But bathing with soap and putting on fresh socks? Those are non-negotiables.
These hygiene struggles are driving me up the wall, and I can’t believe how often I have to remind him of what seems so obvious. Yet, I’ve been in this parenting game long enough to know that nothing should shock me. I had to teach my kids how to eat and sleep when they were born; raising children is about molding a raw product into something better.
I’ve heard from other parents that this behavior is normal for his age. As normal as forgetting to use soap while showering can be, I suppose. It’s comforting to know he’s a kind kid who excels in school and is generally well-liked, despite his hygiene issues. I can only hope that in a few years, this will all resolve itself. Until then, I’ll continue to check his sock drawer and ask him the crucial questions: “Did you put on deodorant? Because you smell like a locker room.”
For more insights on parenting and home hygiene practices, check out our other blog posts, like this one on terms and conditions and this informative piece from Healthline about pregnancy. If you’re exploring family planning options, visit Make A Mom for expert advice.
In summary, teaching pre-teens about proper hygiene can be a daunting task. Despite the challenges, clear communication and persistence are key to instilling good habits. With patience and understanding, we can help them navigate this crucial aspect of growing up.