The last time I slipped into a swimsuit, I was just a few months pregnant, taking my eldest to swim lessons. The experience was uncomfortable, to say the least. My swimsuit felt too tight in some areas and too loose in others. I opted for a one-piece, hoping for a more modest look, yet I couldn’t shake the feeling of insecurity. I worried someone might suggest I change or leave the pool altogether.
In that moment, my rapidly changing body made me question what was deemed appropriate for a “larger woman” at a public pool filled with families. During those two weeks of swim lessons, I found myself apologizing for how my swimsuit fit. Looking back, I realize there was no need for apologies, but my anxiety kept me on edge. I even dropped hints about being pregnant, hoping to convey that my figure was due to the little one growing inside me.
Fast forward to now—I’ve given birth, and I’m no longer pregnant. Yet, my swimsuits still fit oddly, and my belly is still there. While I haven’t shed much body fat, I’ve released the self-imposed pressure of needing a “perfect swimsuit body.”
As women, we’re often faced with the pressure to conform to a certain body type, but is there any season that amplifies this pressure more than summer? Over the past few years, I’ve searched for excuses regarding why I haven’t returned to my pre-baby shape. This year, however, I’m letting go of that worry. The world can see whatever body I bring to the beach because I have a swimsuit and a body—so yes, I already have a swimsuit body.
This summer, I’m actively unfollowing and blocking any social media accounts that promote weight loss supplements or make low-key fatphobic comments. I can’t pinpoint exactly why I’ve stopped obsessing about being “summer-ready.” Maybe it’s the stress of raising two kids that leaves little room for such trivial concerns, or perhaps it’s simply that summer is fleeting in my Midwest town, and I don’t want to miss the joy of those warm days waiting for an ideal body. It could also be that I’d rather focus on getting my energetic three-year-old outside than worrying about my swimsuit appearance.
One thing is certain: I have 99 problems, and seeking a “summer body” isn’t one of them. Since my second child, I’ve been navigating the complexities of a body that feels unfamiliar. Everything from my hips to my bladder is different, and before I consider changing anything, I need to understand my new self.
Ironically, I’m more health-conscious now than ever. My focus is on adopting a healthy lifestyle rather than following a seasonal diet. I’ve learned that size doesn’t equate to health, and monitoring others’ bodies only distracts us from the crucial “my body, my rights” message we all need to champion. Thankfully, body positivity movements have gained momentum, showcasing size diversity and equipping us with the language to combat negativity. However, undoing centuries of societal pressure requires sustained effort.
This time around, I choose to prioritize fun over fat. My kids won’t remember me for the dimples on my thighs, but they will recall if I made excuses to stay indoors due to body stigma. Who knows if I’ll ever return to my pre-baby figure? I suspect not; I’m not the same person I was before motherhood. Instead of fixating on a scale, I’m dedicating my time to enjoying the sunshine with my son.
I’m ready to embrace the fleeting summer days, regardless of my size, and this time, I’m doing it without any excuses. If you’re interested in exploring more about the journey of motherhood and home insemination, check out this insightful resource on home insemination. Additionally, for those considering self-insemination methods, Make a Mom offers fantastic products to assist in your journey. For further reading on fertility and related topics, Medical News Today is an excellent resource.
In summary, this summer is all about embracing joy and letting go of societal pressures regarding body image. It’s a celebration of confidence, fun, and family, reminding us that life is too short to worry about fitting into a mold.