Updated: April 4, 2023
Originally Published: April 1, 2023
Hello there,
First off, I must admit it’s quite a surprise to receive your message, especially since it came via a mutual acquaintance I haven’t spoken to since our school days. Clearly, the boundaries of privacy are flexible on Facebook, right? So, thank you for the upbeat note!
And when I didn’t respond right away, I appreciate your follow-ups. It took three more messages, but eventually, you wore me down. I have to commend your tenacity and the casual tone you adopted, considering we’ve never actually met. I figured if I had to deal with your relentless messaging, I might as well reward you with a response.
You began with some small talk to disarm me, which was a clever strategy. After all, who doesn’t enjoy chatting, especially with someone they don’t know? I was completely unaware that this friendly exchange was merely a setup for your sales pitch. You smoothly transitioned into asking if I wanted to improve my health, feel better, and shed some pounds.
When I declined, it seemed to throw you off a bit. I owe you an apology for my rudeness; after all, you took the time to look at my pictures and make judgments about my lifestyle. How dare I be comfortable in my own skin! With nearly half of American women wearing size 14 or larger, it’s amusing to think you’re here to enlighten me about my health, pushing products that haven’t been evaluated by the FDA and coming from someone without any medical background. But, of course, you’ve read all the marketing materials, right?
Next, you offered me a chance to try your product for free, with the catch that I would post a crafted message on social media. While I had no intention of using your products, it felt like a golden opportunity to kickstart my influencer career. I shared my rates, which were quite generous, but you seemed taken aback. You emphasized that this is your livelihood and that I should support a fellow female entrepreneur—hashtag girl boss! You really got me there.
To emphasize my potential mistake, you described how wonderful you felt after using your products. I checked out your social media, and I must say, your use of subpar images and repetitive posts was impressive. Seriously, Karen, lay off the emojis! Your strategy of hiding the product name to spark curiosity about your results was clever. After all, it’s a network marketing business that thrives on social media engagement.
Despite my clear disinterest, you invited me to join your team, selling products I didn’t want to use myself. I was flattered you considered me capable, even with my lack of sales experience and a modest social media following. When I expressed concerns about it being a pyramid scheme, you assured me that it was absolutely not. Your reassurances were comforting, especially given the pyramid-like compensation structure.
Your MLM isn’t tied to those infamous lawsuits, and I’m sure you’re not among the vast majority of participants who lose money. Those folks probably just didn’t work hard enough, right? Unlike you, Karen, who tirelessly posts and chases leads, potentially alienating friends and family by making them feel guilty for not supporting your overpriced products.
And if this opportunity isn’t the right fit, no worries! You have a plethora of other options! Makeup, leggings, wax warmers, and more—just a small investment for a starter kit, and if I hustle, I could make it all back. Sounds almost too good to be true!
So, thanks, but I think I’ll politely decline. For those interested in learning more about pregnancy and home insemination, visiting resources like Facts About Fertility or checking out Make A Mom could be enlightening. You can also explore this insightful post for further information.
In summary, while I appreciate your outreach, I’m not interested in your MLM products or business. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.