As a new mother, the debate around bed-sharing and its safety often leaves parents feeling bewildered. Pediatricians and institutions like the American Academy of Pediatrics commonly advise against sharing a bed with infants due to potential suffocation risks. However, breastfeeding resources often highlight how bed-sharing can facilitate breastfeeding, which is crucial for protecting against Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
In my experience, I found myself falling asleep while breastfeeding simply out of necessity. Newborns require frequent feedings, especially at night, and bringing my baby into bed allowed me to nurse him comfortably. I quickly learned how to latch him on in the dark, which transformed the experience for both of us.
Being an advocate for baby safety, I diligently studied the guidelines for safe bed-sharing and adhered to them closely. Nevertheless, I often felt a sense of shame when discussing my choices with healthcare professionals. When asked where my baby slept, I would mention our crib, which was more often used for laundry than for sleeping.
Now, as a lactation consultant guiding mothers on breastfeeding and sleep practices, I believe our focus should shift from shaming mothers for bed-sharing to educating them on how to do it safely. The reality is that many mothers will inevitably doze off while nursing, and our goal should be to ensure they have the knowledge to minimize risks.
Dr. Lisa Hartman, a pediatric expert, echoes this sentiment in her recent piece for the Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine. She advocates for a shift in perspective: “Instead of treating breastfeeding and safe sleep as separate issues, we should concentrate on creating ‘safe nighttime feeding environments,’” she explains. “Mothers will likely fall asleep during feedings, so we must prioritize making those moments as safe as possible.”
Consider this: many parents may not realize that sleeping with a baby on a couch or armchair poses significant risks, such as the child getting trapped between cushions. If mothers are exclusively told to avoid bed-sharing without any context, they might resort to unsafe alternatives when exhausted.
Substances like alcohol and sedatives also heighten the risks associated with bed-sharing. If parents are only cautioned against bed-sharing and not educated about these dangers, they might neglect to take necessary precautions that could safeguard their infants.
Instead of imposing blanket prohibitions, we should acknowledge the practical realities of motherhood, which often include sleep deprivation. It is far more beneficial to encourage safe bed-sharing practices rather than dismissing the concept entirely.
To help mothers remember the safety guidelines for bed-sharing, Dr. Hartman suggests using the letter “F.” The key points include:
- Face-up: Your baby should always sleep on their back on a flat, firm mattress.
- Free: The bed should be devoid of excess items like pillows and soft bedding that could obstruct the baby’s breathing.
- Feeding: Ideally, your baby should be exclusively breastfed.
- Fewer: Only the mother should be in bed with the baby.
- Fully aware: The mother should not be under the influence of any sedatives.
- Fresh air: The sleeping environment should be free of tobacco smoke and not overly warm.
- Fully vaccinated: Babies should be up to date with vaccinations.
Additionally, mothers should avoid sleeping with their babies on armchairs or couches, and those with premature or ill infants should consult a doctor before bed-sharing.
While it’s important to acknowledge that bed-sharing carries certain risks, a thoughtful approach can significantly reduce those dangers. Discussing any concerns with healthcare professionals is essential, but being prepared for the likelihood of unintentionally falling asleep while nursing is crucial. By equipping mothers with safe practices, we can make nighttime bonding moments both enjoyable and secure.
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In summary, rather than shaming nursing mothers for bed-sharing, we should prioritize providing education about safe practices. Doing so ensures that mothers can enjoy the comfort of their babies while minimizing risks.