Why am I perpetually irritable? Why do I sometimes seem unhappy? Why do I snap at you? To put it simply, it’s due to you, my dear partner.
It feels as though the burden of our lives, not just mine but also our four kids’, is resting solely on my weary shoulders, and the pressure is becoming overwhelming.
While I cherish being the go-to person for our children’s needs—offering them comfort and safety—it would be refreshing to share the load. I didn’t bring them into this world alone, and I refuse to shoulder every responsibility with a cheerful demeanor. If that’s your expectation, well… you’ve made a grave miscalculation.
I’m utterly fatigued.
So, just once, while I’m in the bathroom, it would be fantastic if you could pause your virtual escapades and get our kids a drink while they’re tugging at my half-dressed self. “Mommy, I need this! Mommy, I need that! Mommy, help!” All while I’m trying to finish my business.
Why do I snap or seem perpetually on edge? Because I lack the support I desperately need from you. It feels like my cries for help are unheard, falling into a void. Despite being stretched thin, I make sure everything gets done, which makes it easy for you to overlook my struggles.
You remain unconcerned about my emotional, physical, or mental well-being because I’m constantly picking myself up and pushing through the chaos. Even though I feel like I’m giving pieces of myself to everyone, that effort is seldom reciprocated.
I’m running on empty, and this situation is unacceptable.
I’m not interested in becoming a stereotypical ’50s housewife, yet it seems you expect me to fit into that role. This has left me feeling exhausted and furious, and it’s high time you recognize that.
Forget about the messy house and either help clean it up or let it go. How many times have you done the dishes in the last six years? Perhaps ten? And how many of those times were during my hospital stays for surgery or childbirth? That’s what I thought.
It’s outrageous for you to critique the state of our home when I’m also juggling a job and managing a household with four young children. Your complaints about laundry and clutter are starting to feel like mere whining, and I’m over it.
So, the next time you wonder why I’m frantically cleaning while huffing and puffing, ask yourself this: How have I contributed today?
I recognize that you work hard outside the home, and I don’t take that for granted. But please remember that I work hard too. My job may involve cleaning up after our kids all day, but it doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything. You know better.
You’ve known I’m not a neat freak for ages, so why expect me to transform now? I won’t change my priorities for your comfort. I value quality moments with our children more than a spotless home. I would never regret a messy house, but I will always regret missing precious time with them.
And it’s not unreasonable to ask when I might have a moment for myself. I want to enjoy these fleeting stages of their lives, but sometimes I just need to wipe without a tiny human reminding me how to do it. “Front to back, Mommy. Don’t forget.”
It’s cute, but I need a couple of minutes of quiet. I want time with friends, yet that never happens. More importantly, I crave time for myself, and that seems nonexistent. I’m tired of being the caregiver without anyone caring for me, and that’s your responsibility.
I’m worn out, stretched thin, and often at my wit’s end. Do you even care, or do you not understand the demands of being the mother I am?
My needs, desires, and wants are just as valid. I do enough, I am enough, and my role as a mother doesn’t define every aspect of who I am. So stop trying to mold me into someone I’m not and then wonder why I’m frustrated. It should be clear.
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In conclusion, it’s essential to understand that effective partnership involves shared responsibilities, emotional support, and mutual respect. I’m not asking for the impossible—just a little help and recognition of all that I do.