Updated: June 17, 2019
Originally Published: March 27, 2019
A few Saturdays ago, I found myself at Target with my three teenagers, surrounded by what felt like every other shopper in town stocking up on Easter treats and household supplies. As we made our way to the checkout, we encountered a toddler in front of us having a monumental tantrum in the self-checkout line.
Navigating that line can be a test of patience on its own, but when you add a screaming child who’s pounding a box of tissues against your cart while you’re trying to input how many bananas you have, it can feel like a scene from a nightmare.
In the midst of this chaos, my youngest turned to me and said, “Mom, that poor guy must be struggling. He has two kids, and he’s all by himself.” I shared his feelings, recalling the many occasions I’d faced similar situations alone with my three little ones, who often had no patience for grocery shopping or unfamiliar environments.
Watching my now-grown teenagers, I felt a sense of relief that I had moved past that exhausting phase. Sure, teenagers present their own challenges, but they no longer throw fits in public over a pack of gummies. As I recounted the countless times they had tested my patience, we all laughed together, fondly reminiscing about those chaotic moments.
However, two older women behind us felt compelled to share their unsolicited wisdom on parenting. “If those were my kids, they’d never act like that in public,” one of them said to her friend. “In my house, that kind of behavior would not be tolerated.”
Of course, this type of judgment is all too common—whether in person or across social media platforms. We often hear statements like, “If they were my kids, I’d set them straight” or “Their parents must be lazy.”
It’s truly frustrating. The implication is that their children are perfect little beings who never misbehave or express emotions like frustration or sadness. They seem to forget that kids are not robots. They experience discomfort, fatigue, and hunger, just like adults do. They may be acting out for reasons we know nothing about, like teething pain or simply wanting to escape a lengthy shopping trip.
I once witnessed a family in a fast-food restaurant where a toddler was throwing a fit. The parents carried him outside while others looked on disapprovingly. When they returned, the child settled down and enjoyed his meal, revealing he had been on a long road trip and hadn’t had a bowel movement for days. It turned out that his outburst was not about being a “bad kid” but rather a reaction to a very uncomfortable situation.
So, if you see a child misbehaving in public, maybe keep your opinions to yourself. Just because you think you could do better doesn’t mean you know the full story. Sharing your judgment, whether in person or online, does nothing to help and only adds to the stress of the parent trying to manage the situation.
It’s often the parents who are doing their best in the face of adversity that need understanding, not criticism. Remember, kids are not mini-adults; they lack the emotional regulation that comes with age and experience. Interestingly, I observe more public meltdowns and rude behavior from adults than from children.
If you’re interested in exploring more about family and parenting dynamics, you might want to check out our blog on home insemination kits, which offers helpful insights into family planning and support. Additionally, for those interested in pregnancy and related resources, the Women’s Health website is an excellent source of information.
Summary
This article reflects on the challenges of public parenting and the unsolicited judgments often faced by parents. It emphasizes the importance of understanding rather than criticizing parents dealing with children’s meltdowns in public places. The narrative highlights that everyone has their struggles, and children’s behavior can often stem from factors that are not immediately apparent.