Lifestyle
By Sarah Thompson
Updated: November 9, 2023
Originally Published: November 9, 2023
Let’s be real—my marriage isn’t as flawless as I might portray online. After seven years and two children, social media has me questioning everything. My feed is flooded with declarations of love that make me feel like I’m missing out: “You’re my everything, my precious darling. Life wouldn’t be the same without you!” Posts proclaiming, “Our love grows stronger every day!” pop up, and I can’t help but wonder if they’re genuine.
Sometimes, I click “like” on these posts out of habit. Other times, I tilt my head, recalling how just last week she mentioned looking into divorce options. And there are moments when I cringe because, honestly, there are days when I wouldn’t feel comfortable shouting my love from the rooftops—and many when my partner wouldn’t say such things about me either.
Am I alone in this? Surely, we can’t be the only ones experiencing bumps in the road, letting stress derail healthy chats, or occasionally going to bed upset despite the “never fight” rule. It seems like everyone else on social media has it all figured out.
Recently, a friend shared a thought that stuck with me: “You know every detail of your life, but on social media, you only reveal the best 5%—like your child’s first steps or a tropical vacation. This is what others see, and it can create a misleading comparison.”
When the hashtag #LoveYourPartner began trending, I watched with a mix of curiosity and dread. I saw all those perfect couples and pristine wedding pictures, making my own relationship seem messy in comparison. Just that morning, I’d had a silly argument with my spouse over something trivial.
While I’m not completely against social media challenges (I participated in the Ice Bucket Challenge and shared a heartfelt Mother’s Day post), I found myself hesitant about this one. Sure, we have our edited, picture-perfect moments, but I’d need to share more than just the highlight reel; that’s not an accurate reflection of our reality.
So here’s how my version of the Love Your Partner Challenge would play out over a week:
Day 1 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
We argue sometimes—okay, often. It could be about finances, parenting, or even something I said ages ago. The point is, can we please just drop it?! Today, I nominate any couple who has had a disagreement recently to join this challenge.
Day 2 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
We are lost (again) and running late, which is completely my fault due to my terrible sense of direction—even with GPS! Meanwhile, one child is on the verge of sleeping, while the other is yelling, keeping the first awake. I nominate any couple who just needs to escape their house for a drive.
Day 3 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
Can a girl get a moment to herself with a glass of wine? Nope? Wait, maybe I can squeeze it in between those snack wrappers. I nominate anyone whose partner gives a thumbs-up during every selfie.
Day 4 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
At 3 a.m., the baby’s cries pierce through the silence. You can only pretend to be asleep for so long—time to play “whose turn is it?” roulette. I nominate everyone who’s hoped their partner could just magically help with nighttime feedings.
Day 5 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
Don’t worry—my husband is in the picture. He’s just on the phone, stuck in the nightmare that is rush hour traffic. I nominate anyone who knows what it’s like to be a “single-married parent” for the evening.
Day 6 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
The baby is about to tumble down the stairs, and one of us needs to intervene. The pasta is boiling over, and one of us must avoid a kitchen disaster. We’re just ships passing in the night. I nominate couples who can manage a quick high-five as they rush past each other.
Day 7 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
The kids are finally asleep, and it’s “us time.” You know what’s romantic? Sleep. So today, I nominate any couple who has ever taken “Netflix and Chill” literally.
The goal of the #LoveYourPartner challenge is to “celebrate love and promote marriage.” I’m all for spreading positivity, and I share the pretty moments too. However, I also want to inject a dose of reality: Marriage is not merely a fairy tale. It’s tough and requires effort. Every day, it’s a choice—a series of clichés that resonate because they’re so true.
Then again, maybe it’s just us.