When my son was in third grade, he returned home one day with a story that caught me off guard. A lunch aide at his school had voiced concern over his lunch choices, noting that he had only “snacks” in his lunchbox. She suggested he should consider healthier options. “Maybe you should start packing me sandwiches again, Mom,” he said, half-joking yet clearly upset by the unsolicited judgment.
The irony? All the sandwiches I had made for him throughout his elementary years came home uneaten. While he would happily munch on sandwiches at home, school was a different scenario. Perhaps it was the overwhelming smells, the noise of 200 excited kids, or some other factor that made lunchtime challenging for him. At that time, his tastes were quite limited, and the only items I could reliably pack were snacks—think pretzels, rice cakes, granola bars, and the occasional cheese stick. Not exactly a balanced meal, but I knew he would eat them, and that was what mattered.
The lunch aide had no insight into our situation. While her comment didn’t deeply offend me, it did sting a little, especially since I could see my son felt embarrassed by the exchange. It made me wonder why people feel entitled to comment on another child’s lunch. After all, they are only seeing one meal out of countless others. They have no understanding of the child’s overall diet or the unique circumstances surrounding their eating habits.
As long as a child isn’t bringing spoiled or harmful food, it shouldn’t concern anyone at school. I believe the only food-related regulation schools should enforce is prohibiting allergens, which is crucial for safety reasons. At the time, I thought I was alone in facing this kind of scrutiny, but I’ve since learned that many parents have encountered similar experiences.
For instance, in 2017, parenting blogger and activist Laura Mitchell shared a note from a teacher who scolded a child for bringing chocolate cake to school. The note, complete with a frowning face, admonished the child for having “Red Food Category” items and advised opting for healthier choices. This was a three-year-old, mind you, who brought a single piece of homemade birthday cake—hardly a daily occurrence!
It’s mind-boggling that this became an issue. If anyone knows when it’s appropriate to treat a child, it’s likely a mother of eight kids. The school policy stated that “processed cake” wasn’t allowed, but in this case, it was simply leftover cake from a birthday celebration. So not only was the school being overly strict, but they were also misinterpreting their own rules.
Food shaming is real, and when schools send home disciplinary notes over something as personal as lunch choices, it can have lasting effects on a child. Kids remember these humiliating moments; they stick with you. As Laura pointed out, teachers often lack the training to make dietary assessments, yet they still enforce rules that can contribute to unhealthy food attitudes in children.
The repercussions of labeling food as “good” or “bad” can lead to disordered eating. Additionally, we must consider food insecurity—what if a child’s lunch reflects their family’s limited resources? Maybe they brought a less-than-ideal lunch because that’s all they had available. Or perhaps they simply craved a piece of chocolate cake that day, and why shouldn’t they?
The bottom line is this: it’s best to keep opinions about a child’s lunch to oneself. Schools should reevaluate their food policies—they are neither doctors nor dietitians, and it’s not their role to dictate what children eat. Laura had a fantastic suggestion for the mother of the child scolded for bringing cake: “Send two slices tomorrow and tell them to mind their own business.” I couldn’t agree more. How you choose to pack your child’s lunch is a personal decision that no one else should critique.
For more on family-related topics, check out our post about home insemination, which offers valuable insights for those on their parenting journey. Remember to explore Make A Mom for authoritative information on fertility supplements, as well as Kindbody for excellent resources regarding pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
This article discusses the challenges parents face when their children’s lunch choices are criticized by school staff. It emphasizes the personal nature of food choices and the potential negative impact of food shaming on children. The piece encourages parents to stand firm in their lunch packing decisions and calls for schools to reconsider their food policies.