This isn’t a request for less toys for the kids during the holidays (though I wouldn’t mind that, considering the mountain of Legos currently in my living room). Nor is it an announcement about ditching our online shopping habits for a minimalist lifestyle in the middle of nowhere—though there are days when that sounds tempting. And let’s be clear, this isn’t a judgmental manifesto urging everyone to cancel their shopping subscriptions.
What this is about is why our family has chosen to buy fewer toys and prioritize experiences over material possessions. Simply put, we find far more joy in attending an event than in acquiring the latest gadget. And guess what? Science backs this up.
It may sound surprising, but research indicates that happiness comes from our moment-to-moment experiences, as noted by scientists like Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert. They suggest that material items hold value only in the happiness they may bring. For instance, while I may feel a brief thrill from a new lipstick or gadget, that excitement fades quickly. The same goes for the toys I impulsively buy for my kids; they experience a fleeting joy that quickly turns into clutter, adding stress as I manage the mess.
The reality is, stuff tends to pile up. Toys require storage, invade every corner of the house, and turn into a battle zone when it’s time to tidy up. Kids resist cleaning, leading to frustration all around. I’ve come to realize that my home is often too chaotic for inviting friends over, all due to the abundance of things. This realization hit hard: we need to declutter, make donations, and invest in what truly matters—experiences that bring us together.
A few weeks back, we made a conscious decision to cut back on purchases, opting instead for camping gear and a trip to the mountains. This adventure allowed my kids to explore nature, discovering salamanders and hiking trails. We didn’t spend money on typical store purchases but instead climbed mountains and found hidden waterfalls. Such experiences are priceless.
However, I acknowledge that the holidays might feel different for the kids this year. We won’t have the usual stacks of gifts under the tree, but I refuse to bring in more toys that will inevitably be forgotten. Instead, we aim to give them experiences: museum memberships, zoo passes, and ice cream gift cards. While these may not seem as exciting on Christmas morning, I believe they will bring more joy in the long run as we create lasting memories together.
If you want to be the ultimate grandparent, consider gifting an experience—perhaps a museum visit or a class your grandchild has been eager to take. Such gifts won’t clutter the house and will create cherished memories. Even challenging experiences, like camping with grumpy kids or rainy vacations, often turn into amusing anecdotes later.
Think about your own childhood: while toys may evoke nostalgia, it’s the experiences that resonate most—those long summer days, trips with family, and shared moments that bring true happiness. Instead of accumulating toys, we’re focusing on saving for adventures, like a beach getaway or a guided fossil dig in South Carolina, which is renowned for finding megalodon teeth. We dream of a trip to Yellowstone and my mom’s ambitious RV road trip across the country, despite the potential for chaos.
I’ve decided to avoid those frequent trips to stores that tempt unnecessary purchases. Instead, we’re saving for experiences that will enrich our lives and keep our home uncluttered. In the end, I believe it will lead to a fuller heart.
For more insights on family planning and experiences, check out this related post on home insemination. Also, Make A Mom is a fantastic resource for all things related to self-insemination. And don’t forget to review Resolve for excellent family-building options.
In summary, we’re choosing experiences over material possessions, prioritizing joy and memories over clutter. This shift not only lightens our home but also enriches our family life.