Welcome to the Spring 2015 Toddler Course Catalog! If your little one is nearing two years old, it’s time to connect with your guidance counselor to explore registration options.
Pants and How Not to Wear Them
This introductory course reveals the reasons behind parental insistence on wearing pants, addressing social norms and chilly weather. Tired of ineffective tactics like bicycle kicks or the classic “NO PANTS! NO PANTS! STOP IT!”? Learn from our team of experts—your fellow 4-year-olds—who will guide you through the fine art of “adamant refusal.” (Wednesdays and Fridays, 6 PM – 9 PM)
Pulling Things off Shelves with Abandon
Join us at the campus library for this thrilling class, which has been met with mixed reviews from librarians and custodial staff alike. (Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, 7 PM – 9 PM)
Intro to Toddlerhood
Are you new to the toddler experience? This foundational course covers essential skills before diving into specialized subjects. Learn from guest speakers about vital topics like: opening cabinets filled with hazardous cleaning products, sneezing on loved ones, and the competitive art of Goldfish Cracker consumption. Plus, master the innocent smile while smearing avocado into the dog’s fur! (Mondays and Wednesdays, 12 PM – 4 PM)
Annoying Shows and How to Constantly Ask For Them
Missed out on Calliou? Can’t get enough of a nine-hour Mickey Mouse Clubhouse marathon? This popular course teaches toddlers, with a vocabulary of under 70 words, how to successfully negotiate screen time with grown-ups. (One Week Intensive: Monday-Friday, 1 PM to 8 PM)
Where to Leave Legos So Your Parents Will Step on Them in the Dark
Do you want to ensure your parents experience the ultimate surprise? This class will share strategies on optimal play areas (especially where people tend to walk) and how to leave toys in strategic locations. Note: Legos are not provided for this course. (Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, 7 PM – 9 PM)
(Prerequisite: “Where to Leave Small Matchbox Cars So Parents Will Step on Them in the Dark.”)
Introduction to Not Sharing
This class is always in high demand, with limited spots available. If you don’t act fast to secure your place, you’ll miss out—no exceptions! Remember, once the spots are filled, there’s no crying allowed. (Tuesdays and Fridays, 12 PM – 3 PM)
Walking Slowly
Class starts at 4 PM and is held in a building 200 feet from campus, down a path filled with fascinating sticks and little bits of paper. Anyone who arrives on time will receive a failing grade. (Wednesdays and Fridays, 4 PM – 6 PM)
Climbing Out of Your Crib
Still stuck in your crib? This high-energy class is perfect for adventurous toddlers looking to explore their rooms and discover new ways to mischief. Learn traditional crib-exiting techniques and tackle questions like, “Will it hurt to land on a hardwood floor?” and “Can I use my stuffed animals as a launchpad?” (Wednesdays, 8 PM – 4 AM)
Intro to Food Refusals
Perfect the skill of rejecting delicious, quality meals simply because “it’s touching other food” or “there are green things in it.” Let our chefs serve you a five-course meal to toss, smear, or push away while expressing your displeasure. (Mondays and Thursdays, 6 PM – 9 PM)
Intermediate Art
Just because you might not fully grasp language doesn’t mean you lack creativity! This cherished class provides an outlet for self-expression with glue, permanent markers, and your parents’ furniture. (Tuesdays and Thursdays, 12 PM – 3 PM)
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Summary: The Spring 2015 Toddler Course Catalog offers a variety of fun and engaging classes for your little ones, teaching everything from defying clothing norms to mastering the art of food refusals. With a mix of humor and practical skills, these courses are designed to enhance the toddler experience.
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