This morning, my 6-year-old daughter, Lily, left the house dressed as if she were heading to a whimsical costume party. She sported faded denim shorts, mismatched knee-high socks, a stained t-shirt, and a headband adorned with animal ears. To top it off, she piled on an array of bracelets and a chunky beaded necklace. The clash of colors and patterns was a bit overwhelming, yet she stood in front of the mirror for five solid minutes, clearly enamored with her look.
While I was brushing my teeth, she turned to me and asked, “Mommy, do you like my outfit?”
Although she resembled a hot mess, I didn’t want to dampen her spirits. “I love it, sweetheart! You look adorable!” I replied. Her smile widened, revealing the gap where her front teeth used to be, and she blushed with pride. “Thank you, Mommy!” she chirped, skipping away with newfound confidence.
If I’m being honest, I wouldn’t have chosen that outfit for her. My preference would have leaned toward something more coordinated and less accessorized. But her outfit allowed her to express her individuality and build her self-esteem, which is far more important than my fashion sensibilities.
I know many moms who meticulously curate their children’s wardrobes, selecting outfits for holidays and family photos. I, however, take a different approach. I encourage both my children to express themselves through clothing choices. While I support my son’s independence in dressing, I feel it’s especially crucial for my daughter to have the freedom to choose her attire.
Clothing and personal style are extensions of who we are. As a woman, I understand the societal pressures my daughter will inevitably face, from body image to career expectations. She will encounter unsolicited opinions and judgments about her choices, and I want her to be resilient and confident amidst that scrutiny. My goal as a mother is to empower my children to embrace who they are without feeling the need to conform to others’ expectations.
Lily’s fashion choices are a reflection of her personality, and I would never suggest she alter them. To ask her to change would imply her choices are incorrect. Is it really wrong just because it doesn’t match or defies convention? I think not. You do you, sweetheart!
Her outfit may not align with my taste, but that’s perfectly fine. So, if you spot me in the store with a child sporting swim goggles in December or Christmas-themed pants in July, don’t be surprised. That’s just how we roll. Regardless of their clothing, my kids will always know they have my unwavering support in being true to themselves.
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In summary, allowing my daughter to dress as she pleases fosters her self-expression and confidence. It’s not about the clothes; it’s about encouraging her to be herself.