Once upon a time, I simply accepted the unacceptable. I convinced myself that the inappropriate behavior I faced was “normal.” I took pride in being one of the few women in a predominantly male field, even as I cried alone in hotel rooms during work conferences, dismissing my feelings as a sign of weakness. When faced with inappropriate remarks that silenced the room, I would swiftly change the topic. I monitored my alcohol intake and set a curfew to avoid being objectified. If an outfit garnered too much attention, it would be consigned to the back of my closet. I tolerated it for years, but that era is finally over.
The #MeToo movement has been a fixture in the news, especially with recent developments surrounding the Supreme Court. It has manifested in countless ways, from harrowing tales of assault to everyday instances of objectification. While I consider myself fortunate—having never experienced rape or coercion—I now feel a heavy guilt. The inappropriate treatment I’ve endured could very well encourage others to cross lines that lead to violence.
Having spent 15 years in outside sales, from my early twenties to late thirties, I have allowed men to treat me poorly. From comments about my appearance to unwelcome physical contact, it has happened so frequently that I’ve lost count. I excel in my profession, often outperforming my peers. Yet, during an initial meeting in my current role eight years ago, a male client turned to my boss and remarked, “I see why you hired her.” The comment was degrading, and the men present laughed. I forced a smile and continued to endure similar experiences repeatedly.
However, something has shifted within me recently. Some might chalk it up to age or the gradual buildup of frustration, but I see it as something much more significant. The #MeToo movement has reassured me that I am not alone in my struggles. It has encouraged me to open up, to report abusive behavior, and to communicate with fellow women about their experiences. Each woman I speak with has at least one story, and sadly, many have several.
While #MeToo has empowered me, it has also raised the possibility that I might lose my job. I know I won’t be fired since I am exceptionally skilled at what I do. However, the choice to remain may no longer be feasible. Despite my hopes for change in this long-standing industry, which has existed for over a century, the reality is grim. Although some of my male colleagues attempt to understand, they often ask questions like, “Was he drunk when he did that?”—as if intoxication excuses their behavior, while for women, it becomes a reason for doubt.
Amidst this turmoil, I have a sweet, intelligent, beautiful 4-year-old daughter to protect. I’ve lost countless nights of sleep worrying about her future. It’s my responsibility to teach her to value herself and demand respect from others, ensuring she knows her worth transcends mere appearances. I want her to grow up knowing that allowing mistreatment, as I have, is not an option for her generation.
Yet, we find ourselves in a troubling political climate where a U.S. President can openly mock a woman for sharing her story. Even now, in 2018, we continue to assign blame for abuses to women rather than the perpetrators. Therefore, I stand in solidarity with my sisters and declare #MeToo. I may need to leave my job over this, but that feels like a sacrifice worth making.
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In summary, the #MeToo movement has empowered countless women to speak out against inappropriate behavior, leading some, like myself, to reconsider their professional environments. While it may lead to difficult decisions, standing up for respect and change is crucial for future generations.