Recently, while lounging at the neighborhood pool, it struck me with immense clarity. I glanced around to check on my kids, and as I truly observed them, I was overwhelmed. My eldest was joyfully splashing around with friends, the middle one was confidently diving off the board, and my youngest was in the shade, sharing jokes with his pals. As I sipped my lukewarm coffee, it hit me: I’m in the sweet spot of parenthood.
To provide some context, the previous day had been chaotic. I woke up with the firm intention of making it a great day, aiming to avoid the habitual reflections on my parenting missteps that often haunt my nights. Despite my best efforts to be present, engaged, and kind, the kids transformed our home into a battleground, bickering incessantly. Even ordering pizza didn’t salvage the evening; it became a comical disaster.
Have you ever experienced a day like that? One where everything spirals into chaos? It was frustrating. Yet, the following morning at the pool, despite the remnants of the chaos, I realized some profound truths:
- Those are my children, healthy and vibrant, swimming with joy.
- I’m not stuck in a kiddie pool pretending it’s enjoyable.
- No more diapers in the sweltering heat; everyone can manage their own business.
- This summer, I haven’t had to remind anyone not to drink the pool water.
- It’s been over a year since I last used a stroller.
- Most nights, we all sleep soundly.
- The constant refrain of “Mommy!” has faded significantly.
- I can use the restroom in peace (about 40% of the time).
- They are becoming more independent and occasionally helpful.
- Yet, they still seek my love and presence.
- I’m showered with hugs and kisses whenever I want, but they can also handle chores like taking out the trash.
- They’re growing up, but in many ways, they still feel small.
I find myself in this sweet spot.
Sitting there, I let the realization wash over me. For years, I was deep in what I call “The Blur” – a relentless cycle of sleepless nights, cold meals, and juggling nap schedules, diaper changes, and preschool pickups. Now, I notice that The Blur is starting to sharpen. My perspective is shifting, and I’m beginning to see everything more clearly.
It’s true what they say: time flies. When my children were younger, the days stretched endlessly, and the nights seemed even longer. The hour before my husband returned home felt like an eternity. But amidst that, there were sweet moments—like the scent of their baby heads and their tiny, kissable feet, which have now grown into big, sometimes stinky feet. Those days of infancy are behind me, and here I am with three kids who are not quite little anymore. I feel a mix of gratitude and apprehension.
Please, let this phase linger. I didn’t even realize we were in this moment until it was almost halfway over. Who knows what lies ahead? Teenagers, social media, and all the pressures of growing up. I’m willing to wait a bit longer before we dive into that.
Reflecting on the sweet spot, I shifted my perspective on the previous day’s mishaps. In hindsight, the pizza disaster was quite amusing. That evening, I chatted with the kids about their summer experiences. My eight-year-old son excitedly shared something he learned during swim practice about how to maximize your glide off the wall before swimming. He flapped his arms and twisted, demonstrating an exaggerated version of his point. Then, he froze mid-motion, one arm raised, looking upward.
He resumed his animated motions and exclaimed, “DID YOU SEE THAT? THAT WAS THE SWEET SPOT! WHEN YOU TURN AND TAKE A DEEP BREATH. IF YOU DO IT RIGHT, YOU SET YOURSELF UP TO BE AWESOME!” (He tends to forget about using an inside voice.) Then he noticed my teary expression and asked, “MOMMY, WHY DO YOU LOOK WEIRD? ARE YOU CRYING?”
I explained to him that I was reflecting on our family’s sweet spot. He looked at me with a mix of pity and amusement. “You know there’s a sweet spot in baseball too,” I mentioned. His eyes lit up; he loves the sport. “It’s when the bat hits the ball perfectly. Everything aligns, and the ball just soars!”
They nodded, recalling the exhilarating sound of a well-hit ball. As they departed to watch their favorite show, I remained in the kitchen, emotions bubbling to the surface.
It’s okay that the sweet spot is fleeting. It serves its purpose. It helps us align for the next stage of life. Raising kids is a mix of luck, faith, and daily commitment. If we do it right, they won’t just move on; they’ll take flight. And my hope is that I’ve prepared them to be extraordinary.
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Summary
Parenthood can be chaotic, but it also brings beautiful moments of clarity and joy. The author shares a heartwarming reflection on the current sweet spot in her parenting journey, where her children are becoming more independent yet still need her. Embracing these fleeting moments helps parents prepare for the next stages of their children’s lives, blending love, hard work, and a little luck.
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