As I grapple with the reality that my 11-year-old son, Jake, is about to start middle school, I find myself reflecting on my own experiences from that time. While he seems to navigate the world with greater confidence than I did, my concerns about the challenges he’ll face are very real. So, my dear Jake, as you step into this new chapter filled with changes, independence, and yes, some exciting moments, here are a few pieces of advice to carry with you.
1. Feeling Awkward is Part of the Journey
It’s easy to think that you’re the only one experiencing those awkward moments—trust me, you’re not. Everyone around you is likely feeling just as out of place. From navigating friendships to dealing with new emotions and those pesky pre-teen changes, know that you are definitely not alone. Every single person has been through it, and we all come out the other side.
2. Stay True to Yourself
In middle school, the desire to fit in can be overwhelming. While it’s natural to want to find your place among peers, remember that being true to yourself is paramount. Popularity doesn’t always align with kindness. If you find yourself among people who don’t appreciate the real you, it’s okay to seek out friends who do. Authenticity is what will attract the right people into your life.
3. Personal Hygiene Matters
Gone are the days when you could skip a shower here and there. It’s time to embrace a solid hygiene routine. That includes not just showering but also changing your underwear regularly—trust me, nobody wants to see dirty laundry piling up. And don’t forget deodorant; it’ll be your best friend during these years of growth.
4. Grades Are Not Everything
As school becomes more focused on grades and test scores, it’s easy to feel pressured. While I want you to strive for good study habits, remember that your grades do not define your future happiness or success. Many paths can lead to a fulfilling life, and a few bad grades won’t derail you. Keep your chin up; finding your way is what matters most.
5. Avoid Fake Friends
Trust your instincts when it comes to friendships. It’s important to surround yourself with those who uplift and support you. If someone seems off or unkind, it’s okay to distance yourself. Real friends will bring joy and laughter into your life, while fake ones only drain your energy.
6. Choose Kindness Always
Your words hold great weight, especially now. Make a conscious choice to be kind. This doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat; rather, it’s about considering the feelings of others. If you witness bullying or unkind behavior, stand up against it. Speaking out is vital, and it’s a skill you’ll carry with you throughout life.
7. I’m Here for You
As you navigate these tumultuous years, remember that I’m always your safe haven. You may feel the need for independence, but I’m here to talk about anything on your mind, whether it’s worries or just needing a little comfort. Our late-night chats and those extra snuggles will always be waiting for you.
These are just a few thoughts I hope will resonate with you, Jake. While I may not have covered everything (it’s been a while since I was in your shoes), know that I’m always here to support you. And if you have any questions or need advice along the way, please don’t hesitate to ask. After all, laughter is essential to navigating the ups and downs of these incredible years.
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Summary:
As Jake begins middle school, I want him to understand that feeling awkward is normal, being true to oneself is essential, and personal hygiene matters. Grades are not the sole measure of success, real friendships are invaluable, and kindness should always be prioritized. I will always be here as his safe space, ready to support him through this journey.