Updated: Dec. 10, 2020
Originally Published: Aug. 27, 2018
My toddler sleeps in our room, and frankly, I don’t care what anyone thinks about it.
Since she was born, I’ve heard every piece of advice imaginable: let her cry it out, put on headphones, or even walk away for some peace while my partner manages the crying baby. I know some may think it’s weak parenting, but I couldn’t bear to hear her distress without rushing to comfort her. That feeling has never faded.
This led to what many professionals deem a parenting faux pas: co-sleeping. While we didn’t have our infant sharing our bed, she preferred the firm floor of her pack-n-play in our room over the plush mattress in her own room. We have a crib that’s still in its original mode, but it’s yet to be used as intended.
Just a few weeks ago, my daughter had her three-year check-up, and we encountered a pediatrician we don’t typically see. He criticized our sleeping arrangement, which left me infuriated. I walked into that appointment anxious about potential vaccinations (which weren’t even scheduled for that visit) and left ready to voice my frustration to the office manager.
My daughter is a bright, lively child. She knows her colors, sings the alphabet and various songs, counts to ten, and is constantly expanding her vocabulary. Her imagination is incredible—she adopts a different Disney princess name each day, and everyone around her is expected to join in. “Who are you today for ‘Punzy’?” she asked her older sister recently, then answered her own question, “You must be Pascal.”
So, what makes my three-year-old any different from those who sleep in their own beds? The answer is simple: she isn’t.
This week, a persistent cough brought us back to our pediatrician’s office, and I was relieved to meet a kinder, more understanding doctor. As he offered allergy medicine to help with the cough, my daughter innocently exclaimed, “I think I like taking it with my bottle.” I felt my face burn with embarrassment. If the last doctor scolded me about co-sleeping, surely this one would disapprove of my child falling asleep with a bottle each night, right? Surprisingly, he didn’t. Instead, he suggested we transition from milk to water in her bottles, but he did so with the compassion every pediatrician should embody. They face the challenges of caring for tiny humans and their families daily—it’s tough enough without being judged.
As we navigate our move (now in week three!), we’re also working on transitioning our little one to her “big girl” room. We’re committed to this change but will do it at a pace that suits our family, not based on public opinion.
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Summary
Parenting decisions often come with scrutiny, especially regarding co-sleeping and bottle use for toddlers. However, it’s essential to prioritize what works for your family, regardless of outside opinions. Each child is unique, and their development should be the primary focus, not adhering to strict societal norms.