During my first pregnancy, discussions surrounding my weight gain were frequent. Eventually, my healthcare provider recommended I consult a nutritionist. Upon reviewing my vitals and weight, she remarked, “You’re not at risk for gestational diabetes, but if you don’t slow down soon, returning to your pre-pregnancy weight will be challenging.” That comment triggered feelings of insecurity, leading me down a path of unhealthy habits.
By six weeks postpartum, my focus had shifted entirely to losing weight, and I was hitting the gym six days a week. While it appeared I was a dedicated new mom, the reality was that I was compromising both my mental and physical health in pursuit of an ideal appearance. Between anxiety, breastfeeding, and excessive exercising, I began neglecting my nutrition. Although I received numerous compliments as the pounds fell away, those affirmations masked the unhealthy reality of my situation, which stemmed from starvation. The praise I received only intensified an undiagnosed body image disorder.
Many people fail to recognize how profoundly weight perceptions can affect body image. So why do we still engage in these discussions? Public figure and actor Ryan Lewis has long advocated for conversations surrounding body image, particularly for men. Recently, he shared a post on social media that sparked a dialogue about the unintended consequences of comments related to weight loss.
“I often hear people praising weight loss, but we must delve deeper into the implications of these ‘compliments,’” Lewis stated. While negative remarks about weight gain are typically acknowledged, comments about weight loss can be equally damaging.
We live in a society that often equates thinness with being “fit” or “healthy,” which isn’t always true. Numerous individuals may fall into what is considered a “healthy” BMI range, yet are struggling significantly with their mental and nutritional health. Lewis himself has shared that he was at his least healthy when he achieved his leanest physique in preparation for a bodybuilding competition. Many can relate to the mental and nutritional struggles that sometimes accompany an obsessive fitness lifestyle.
A frequently overlooked effect of weight-related comments is the unintentional reinforcement of existing insecurities. This is particularly evident when we celebrate women who quickly return to their pre-pregnancy weight. While it’s perfectly fine to celebrate healthy weight loss goals, for those like me losing weight due to stress and unhealthy habits, such compliments can perpetuate harmful routines. Weight loss tied to anxiety is not something to be celebrated.
Additionally, many individuals face challenges in gaining weight or possess naturally small frames, often due to chronic stress and health issues. The conversation around body image tends to overlook those striving to gain weight, making discussions about weight equally painful for them. Assumptions about others’ ideal body sizes and fitness goals can be hurtful, regardless of their current appearance.
Consider Alternative Statements That Don’t Mention Weight
As supporters, we sometimes underestimate the impact our comments can have on others regarding their weight. We can provide better support by focusing on the health of the individual rather than their size. Judging health based on contemporary beauty standards is problematic. Try saying, “You look joyful; how are you feeling?” instead of, “Wow, I can see you’ve lost or gained 15 lbs.”
Engage With Loved Ones and Watch for Warning Signs
Take the time to understand the individual and ensure their weight changes are intentional rather than a result of unhealthy circumstances. Are they eating regularly? Are they exercising in moderation instead of overdoing it? Have they shown signs of depression? These are crucial considerations before making any weight-related comments.
Ask “Why”
Lewis emphasizes that we should evaluate our motivations when giving and receiving compliments. “If you’ve noticed someone’s weight change, it’s not your place to judge that change—positively or negatively. If you find yourself seeking validation from others regarding your body, especially after a weight change, it’s worth reflecting on what you’re truly looking for,” he notes. Be aware of the individual’s situation; support their health initiatives and speak up if negative patterns arise.
“I know this topic can be contentious,” Lewis concludes. “If this doesn’t resonate with you, that’s perfectly fine. I hope it offers some food for thought.”
For more insights on body image and health, check out this excellent resource at UCSF Center, and for those considering home insemination, you may find valuable information at Make a Mom. For privacy details, visit our privacy policy.
Summary:
Weight-related comments can have unintended negative effects on both those who lose and gain weight. Instead of focusing on size, we should aim to support individuals by recognizing their health and well-being. Engaging in thoughtful conversation and understanding the context of someone’s weight changes can help build a more positive environment.