A week after the arrival of my daughter, I found myself back in the hospital. Throughout the final week of my pregnancy, I experienced high fevers predominantly at night, leading me to visit the birthing unit multiple times, fearing I might have the flu. My greatest worry was falling ill before I could hold my newborn. Despite testing negative for the flu several times, I was induced at 39 weeks and 1 day, and on January 25th, 2018, I welcomed my daughter, Emma Grace, into the world. Three days later, I was discharged, but soon after, I began to suffer from nightly fevers soaring between 102 to 104.8 degrees. My body felt as if it were shutting down; it burned with fever, and I was convinced the swelling I felt was merely leftover fluid from pregnancy.
A Sudden Turn of Events
After nearly a week at home, a sudden and alarming event occurred while I was in the shower—I expelled a golf ball-sized blood clot. Alarmed, I contacted my OB, who insisted I head to the ER. Initially, I hesitated, thinking that if I could manage my fever with Tylenol, I would be fine. But the situation deteriorated. I ultimately went to my OB’s office, where I was promptly sent to the ER. Faced with a choice, I had to decide whether to bring Emma along or have my mom take her home. My milk had just come in, and I had a mere 6 ounces of colostrum stored. It felt immensely selfish to expose my newborn to the flu-ridden ER just to alleviate my anxiety. Letting her stay with my mom was one of the toughest decisions I’ve faced as a mother. I vividly remember kissing her goodbye, feeling a wave of nausea.
Enduring the ER
I spent 11 grueling hours in the ER, with my partner, Jake, leaving work to keep me company. I arranged for a breast pump to be sent down so I could continue providing for Emma. My stepdad came to pick up the milk I had pumped. I remember thinking, “This is the end of our breastfeeding journey,” and it crushed me. After extensive tests, including bloodwork and a CAT scan, I received shocking news: I would need to be admitted and undergo an MRI with contrast dye. My fears of harming our breastfeeding bond loomed over me, especially after the challenges I had already faced in establishing that connection.
Hospital Stay and Diagnosis
Once admitted, I was informed that my OB had arranged for me to be on the birthing unit, which was a relief given the recent events. I had time to pump again, determined to keep up my supply despite feeling so ill. Shortly after settling into my new room, Jake arrived with Emma in his arms. I reached out for her, and as soon as she was on my chest, my heart rate slowed significantly—an emotional moment that still brings tears to my eyes.
Then came the MRI, which I had never experienced before. My claustrophobia kicked in, and I panicked, requiring sedation to complete the procedure. Afterward, my diagnosis was revealed: sepsis and severe clotting in my pelvis. The doctor informed me that if I had waited another day, I may not have survived. My body was fighting a severe blood infection, which explained the high fevers. I was started on strong antibiotics and blood thinners, which meant daily injections in my abdomen. My hospital stay extended over a week, with the doctors stating, “If you can go 24 hours without a fever, you can go home.” Each time I approached that mark, I would spike a fever again. One night, my oxygen levels dropped so low that alarms went off, necessitating a breathing treatment for the remainder of my stay.
Postpartum Challenges
Throughout this ordeal, I also dealt with postpartum blues, the challenges of nursing, and the physical recovery from a significant vaginal tear. Ultimately, after a week of hospital food and uncomfortable beds, I was discharged. Despite everything, I persisted. I overcame sepsis, continued breastfeeding, and eventually resolved the blood clots after 8-10 weeks of daily injections. My body bore the marks of this struggle, with stretch marks and bruises from the injections making me feel self-conscious. But now, nearly 7 months later, the bruises are gone, and I’ve adapted to my new body. I’m grateful to be here with Emma every day, navigating parenthood together. She remains exclusively breastfed and hasn’t touched a bottle since that hospital stay.
Looking Ahead
Recently, I had another scan due to swelling and pain in my legs from our vacation, which revealed permanent damage to my veins. This means that prolonged periods on my feet will lead to swelling and pain for the rest of my life. My career aspirations may need to shift, moving away from physical jobs to ones that allow me to sit. Life has irrevocably changed, but knowing what I know now, I’d willingly endure all of it again to have my daughter with me. The past 7 months have been transformative, filled with challenges, yet Emma brings a profound sense of peace and joy. Becoming a parent is more than just bringing a child into the world; it’s about giving everything to ensure their well-being.
Resources for Aspiring Parents
To learn more about home insemination and the journey to parenthood, check out this article. For those considering the process of artificial insemination, Make a Mom offers valuable insights on enhancing fertility. Additionally, if you’re navigating similar paths, this resource is an excellent guide for what to expect during your first IUI.
Conclusion
In summary, though I faced a near-death experience just after giving birth, it taught me invaluable lessons about resilience, love, and the unbreakable bond between a mother and child.