As a parent, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the challenges of raising children. My partner, Alex, and I are far from perfect, and we’ve embraced our shortcomings. Together, we’re navigating the wild world of parenting alongside our three wonderfully chaotic kids.
From the very beginning, it was clear that we were novices in this parenting game. In our Intro to Parenting class seven years ago, when the instructor asked, “Raise your hand if you’ve never changed a diaper!” Alex and I sheepishly raised our hands, the only ones in the room doing so. It was a realization that our soon-to-be-born child would have a rather unique start in life.
In light of our apparent cluelessness, we decided to set achievable expectations for our children. We celebrate their accomplishments, but more importantly, we prioritize teaching them the value of kindness. It’s essential to us that they understand compassion is meant for everyone—regardless of their background. Yes, we want them to be kind to people of all races, cultures, orientations, and identities. This includes everyone from the homeless to the punk rock enthusiasts, and yes—even their own siblings.
Our family motto is simple yet powerful: PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE. BE KIND TO THEM.
One of the most challenging aspects of parenting is gauging whether we’re making a positive impact. Often, it feels like we’re just getting by day by day. However, there are moments that shine a light on our efforts. Recently, my son Lucas’s teacher sent me a text to share that he was awarded the “Good Citizenship” award for his kindness and support toward a classmate named Ethan.
Curious, I asked who Ethan was, and she explained that he is a boy with autism. “Lucas has shown remarkable patience with him,” she noted. It struck me how Lucas had previously mentioned a funny boy who did silly things, without any indication of noticing differences.
The next morning, during breakfast, I asked Lucas about Ethan. “Oh! He’s my friend. He has a disability. I understand disabilities. His disability is that he can’t stop being funny!” As I turned away to hide my emotional reaction, I heard him add, “And his favorite color is rainbow! Isn’t that awesome?!” It was a beautiful reminder that kindness can be so pure and innocent.
A few days later, I joined other parents at the awards ceremony. Lucas was seated quietly, unaware of the recognition he was about to receive. I marveled at how much he had grown; a year ago, he would have struggled to sit still.
At the end-of-year party, Lucas enthusiastically greeted me. “HI, MOM!” He was seated next to a boy I hadn’t seen before. “Who’s your friend?” I inquired. “Oh, this is Ethan!” he replied. I was instantly fond of him.
The world doesn’t need more negativity; it needs more individuals who embody kindness. My hope is that my children will grow to be those kind-hearted souls.
For more on parenting and navigating the journey of raising kids, check out our other post on building resilience in children which offers insights on fostering strong emotional health. Also, if you’re interested in understanding more about pregnancy and home insemination, this resource is incredibly helpful.
In summary, parenting is filled with ups and downs, but the ultimate goal is to raise compassionate individuals who understand the importance of kindness in a diverse world.
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