As a new school year approaches, there’s one question that fills me with apprehension: “How was your summer?” This inquiry seems harmless, but it comes from colleagues, parents, and students alike—sometimes as small talk, other times out of genuine curiosity, especially when they’ve seen my (not to brag, but) incredible vacation photos on social media.
Most responses to “how” questions are typically brief: “good.” “How are you?” “How’s your family?” “How was your weekend?” But if someone truly wanted to know about my summer, I’d have to share the truth: it was a challenging time for me emotionally. I faced the heartbreak of two miscarriages, my second and third losses. After my first, I was hopeful—I thought the odds were in my favor for a future pregnancy. Yet after enduring three losses, multiple medical procedures, and countless tests, it’s become increasingly difficult to maintain that optimism. And that reality is truly heartbreaking.
Nevertheless, I have an array of stories to share that align with the typical “good” response. I spent 28 days camping, climbed breathtaking mountains, and paddled across pristine lakes, sometimes even leading other people’s kids along for the adventure. I laughed until water shot out of my nose, hiked until my calves burned, and let’s just say I needed to wash my clothes more than once due to the smell!
Those vacation photos? Absolutely stunning. They capture sunsets, sunrises, mist drifting over mirror-like lakes, cheerful campers, and mouthwatering meals cooked over an open campfire.
Let’s clarify something before you ask: backpacking does not cause miscarriage or infertility. Our species evolved to be active; otherwise, we wouldn’t have survived. My midwife reassured me that it’s an urban legend that heavy lifting (within reason) should be avoided during pregnancy. Of course, always listen to your body and heed your healthcare provider’s advice!
So how will I respond to that dreaded question? Sometimes, I’ll just say “good” and shift the focus to their summer stories. Other times, I might share highlights from my best hiking trip, perhaps even showing off a few photos. And occasionally, when I feel comfortable, I might say, “It was tough. I had two miscarriages, but I’m relieved that school is starting so I can concentrate on something else. What about your summer?”
I hope for honesty in return, too. After everything I’ve faced, I feel ready to hear it.
If you want to read more about the complexities of pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from the CDC. Additionally, if you’re interested in at-home insemination, you can find a comprehensive kit at this authority site.
Summary
As a teacher, the question “How was your summer?” can be daunting, especially when the truth involves personal struggles like miscarriages. While I often default to a simple “good,” there are times I wish I could share my experiences more openly. Balancing the joys of summer adventures with the weight of emotional challenges is a delicate dance, and I hope for genuine exchanges as the school year begins.