As my son approaches his sixth birthday next week, I find myself struggling to embrace the joy of the occasion. Instead of celebrating this milestone and reflecting on the wonderful memories we’ve created, my mind is plagued with troubling thoughts. What if this is his last birthday? What if he eats something at school that triggers a severe allergic reaction? What if the EpiPen isn’t administered quickly enough, or what if it simply doesn’t work? The fear of losing him is overwhelming.
To someone who hasn’t navigated the challenges of food allergies, this may sound overly dramatic. I understand that perspective; the idea that food can pose such a lethal threat seems absurd. When I was raising my daughter, I was focused on shielding her from conventional dangers—like traffic or swimming pools. But now, I have a child who requires protection from food itself, which is everywhere! How can I create a safe environment when food is an unavoidable part of life?
It feels like my son is living in a modern version of the Bubble Boy story. If it were possible, I would gladly wrap him in a protective bubble to ensure his safety. Who needs life experiences when staying alive is the priority?
I grew up with a shellfish allergy, which is relatively easy to avoid compared to dairy, eggs, peanuts, and tree nuts. Once you start reading labels and calling manufacturers about their production processes, you realize just how many items are cross-contaminated. Some products don’t even disclose their allergens clearly, and many hide them under different names.
To avoid potential risks, we’ve adapted our eating habits. Dining out is rare; when we do, my son brings his own meal. We’ve found ways to whip up “safe” pancakes, cupcakes, and even “nice creams” so he can indulge without feeling excluded. He packs his school lunches, and despite our precautions, the constant worry persists.
What if, as he matures, he begins to doubt the severity of his allergies? What if he craves a sense of normalcy and becomes less vigilant? What if he skips checking ingredient labels or takes a risk at a restaurant? What if he unknowingly comes into contact with his allergens, or worse, what if someone plays a cruel prank at his expense?
Amidst this whirlwind of “what ifs,” I fear I might become so consumed by worry that I overlook the present moment. What if I miss out on celebrating his sixth birthday?
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In summary, the anxiety surrounding my son’s food allergies can overshadow the joy of his upcoming birthday. While I try to keep him safe, I also grapple with the fear of missing precious moments in his life.