Updated: Dec. 20, 2023
Originally Published: June 8, 2023
Today was, by most standards, just another ordinary day. We all experience countless days like this—filled with nothing particularly remarkable, no grand celebrations or monumental achievements. Yet, it’s these seemingly mundane moments that actually compose the majority of our lives. The fleeting highs of extraordinary events often vanish before we can even celebrate them, but the ordinary days linger on. As John Lennon famously said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” I would argue that life truly unfolds in the routine of our everyday experiences.
However, everywhere we look—be it advertisements, social media updates, or perfectly curated photos—it feels like the extraordinary is being glorified. This bombardment can lead many of us to feel inadequate, as if we’re always lagging behind or not measuring up to societal standards.
We encourage our kids to dream big, to aspire to greatness, and to believe they can achieve anything. We tell them they are kind, intelligent, and brave—because they truly are. But in our enthusiasm to foster their ambition and extraordinary dreams, are we neglecting to teach them to find value in the ordinary? Are we focused on nurturing their aspirations for greatness while overlooking the beauty in the everyday?
Fortunately, children have an innate ability to find joy in the simple things. My son, Oliver, beams when he receives compliments about a snack he chose from the store and feels immense pride when he can lift his sibling’s spirits. Children seem to crave love, kindness, and the fulfillment that comes from doing good deeds.
Recently, Oliver confided in me about a problem he was having with a classmate. We discussed how sometimes kids feel down and just need a friend. I suggested he try being extra kind to this boy the next day to see how it might change things. The following day, as I waited on the playground, Oliver rushed over with excitement, exclaiming, “Guess what?! I was super nice to [classmate’s name], and he was nice to me too!” This was a first; he had never run to me with news like this before. The joy he felt from being courageous and compassionate was extraordinary in his eyes.
While children may dream of becoming astronauts or famous actors, I believe what they really desire is assurance that the quieter dreams—like being a good friend, working hard, and loving unconditionally—are just as significant, if not more so.
As a child, I longed to be a mother and create a joyful family. Though I had some grand dreams, most of my aspirations were about nurturing relationships and building a loving home. I imagined coloring with my kids, reading bedtime stories, and sharing joyful moments with my husband. Yet, now that I’m living out those dreams, I sometimes feel like I’m not doing enough. The pressure to achieve more can be overwhelming, making me feel like I’m failing at juggling the many facets of life—family, work, friendships, and everything in between.
I know I’m not alone in this feeling. Many of us are good parents, dependable employees, and loving partners, yet we still feel like we’re falling short because we haven’t reached those lofty goals.
So, how do we inspire our children to pursue their larger-than-life ambitions while also teaching them the value of the simple, everyday experiences? How can we help them aspire to greatness while showing them that there is plenty of beauty in the here and now?
The answer begins with us. We must learn to embrace our own quiet dreams with pride and confidence. We should celebrate our efforts in love and kindness, irrespective of the outcomes. It’s essential to show ourselves compassion and to prioritize our connections with family, friends, and community. Each day should be treated as an opportunity to appreciate the ordinary moments, acknowledging that we are doing a fantastic job as parents, partners, and friends.
William Martin’s well-loved poem advises against urging our children to chase extraordinary lives, instead encouraging us to make the ordinary come alive for them. When we focus on kindness and bravery, the extraordinary often unfolds naturally.
As parents, we all envision our children reaching for the stars. But I also want my kids to find contentment on solid ground. I want them to learn the importance of being a good friend, to cultivate love even for those who challenge them, and to embrace the power of stillness and listening. I hope they cherish the small gestures—a handwritten note, a heartfelt hug, or a moment of comfortable silence.
Above all, when they lay their heads down at night, I want their final thought to be: “Today was special. Today, I loved and was loved. Today, I truly lived.”
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Summary
Teaching our children to appreciate the ordinary is as crucial as encouraging them to chase their dreams. By fostering awareness of the everyday moments filled with love and kindness, we can help them find joy in both the grand and the simple.
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