To my beloved Ava on your second birthday,
I wish I could say that the day you entered this world was filled with joy, but truthfully, it was quite the opposite. This had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me. Your mom was unprepared.
When we received the news that you had Down syndrome, it was an overwhelming surprise. As the doctors returned you to my arms, I felt the profound love that every mother feels for her child. You were stunning, and the depth of my love for you was breathtaking. Our connection was immediate, yet fear gripped me. Little did I know that you would be the one to give us a remarkable gift. You were here to teach us about unconditional love, finding joy in the most unexpected moments, and the determination to keep going.
I feel a sense of embarrassment thinking back to my initial thoughts about what your diagnosis meant for our family. I envisioned a life of caregiving, vacations and dinners out lost to us. I imagined a future filled with challenges and your sister, who was the center of my universe, forever changed and pushed out of the spotlight she adored. Everything I imagined was misguided. I share this in hopes of reaching another mother, lying in a hospital bed today, wondering if her life has come to an end. It hasn’t.
Your presence has transformed our lives, but these changes have been welcomed with open arms. We continue to do everything we did before you arrived, and we’ve even embraced new adventures thanks to you. Your smiles and spunk have made our vacations more joyful. Oh, the spunk! Dinners out are filled with laughter as your dad and I watch you and your sister create delightful mischief. You shout, you giggle, and yes, you have a habit of tossing things (sometimes at her).
The bond between you and your sister is a love story that warms my heart daily. Of course, you two bicker like all siblings do. Your sister has expanded the spotlight, and you both bask in it. She has taken it upon herself to protect you, and I suspect that soon you might be the one looking out for her. You are such a spirited little girl.
On this special day, as we celebrate your second birthday, I am filled with gratitude. I would change nothing about you. Your determination astounds me. Every day, I witness you striving to stand, walk, and explore. Although your muscle tone presents challenges, it does not dampen your spirit. I have no doubt you’ll be walking soon; for now, your sheer willpower gets you where you want to go. You are a spirited little girl. I thought I understood sass with your sister, but Ava, you redefine it entirely.
It’s hard not to chuckle when you toss things, shout “no,” or playfully hit your sister or me. Yet, you already possess a heart full of empathy. Whenever your sister is upset, you join her in tears. You are a thrill-seeker, laughing uncontrollably when your dad tosses you in the air. You love rides, and it appears we have another adventurer in the family. You don’t give affection easily; you make people earn it, sometimes making them work quite hard (sorry, Aunt Claire). Your love for music shines through as you dance and sing throughout the day, filling our home with laughter.
My dear Ava, I could write endlessly about all I didn’t know before you came into my life. I had no idea that adults with Down syndrome were achieving incredible things, from advocating for their rights to teaching Zumba, starring in reality shows, penning books, running businesses, living independently, and even getting married. They enrich the lives of those around them.
Before you arrived, I had no understanding of what advocacy truly meant. I didn’t know the friendships I would forge in this beautiful community. We are so grateful that you have introduced us to such wonderful people.
Since you came into our lives, we celebrate more and cherish the little victories. When you pulled yourself up for the first time, we cheered with joy. Your first steps with your walker brought tears to my eyes. I can’t predict the future for us, but I know that having you has made us better individuals. We’ve developed greater empathy for others, chosen kindness, become more politically aware, and learned just how vital Medicaid will be throughout your life. We will always stand up for your rights and for others like you.
This journey has made us more compassionate citizens. We love more deeply, realizing that love manifests in all forms, sizes, and abilities. We’ve learned that emotional intelligence is just as valuable as academic achievement. We now ask for help more often, leading us to some truly remarkable people. Our friendships have flourished because of you.
On this day, I want to express my heartfelt thanks. Thank you, my beautiful, intelligent, and spirited little girl, for the gift that is you. I regret not recognizing your worth the moment you were born, but I promise to spend my life sharing with others the invaluable lessons you have taught me.
I love you for everything that makes you unique.
Summary:
This heartfelt letter celebrates a mother’s journey of understanding and embracing her daughter Ava’s Down syndrome diagnosis. Initially filled with fear and misconceptions, the mother reflects on how Ava has transformed her family’s life by teaching them about love, joy, and resilience. She now values the small victories and the deeper connections formed within their community, ultimately expressing profound gratitude for the gift of her daughter.