It could be a worn-out teddy bear, or perhaps an old, musty blanket that you attempt to wash despite the protests. For my middle child, it was a Brobee monster from Yo Gabba Gabba, with its eyes faded away, resembling a character from a zombie show. But let’s be honest—you likely had one too. A beloved stuffed animal with tangled fur, or a series of blankets that were essential for sleep. Your mother probably had the same concerns you do: “This is so embarrassing,” “When will they outgrow this?” and “Is this a sign they might develop issues later?”
Relax, mom.
Research indicates that in Western cultures, where children often sleep alone at a young age, over 70% of kids form a strong bond with comfort items like stuffed animals or blankets. According to an article in The Guardian, these objects are viewed as having a special essence, similar to how art enthusiasts prefer original pieces over replicas. When children encounter identical objects, they consistently choose their own over others.
The good news is that most parents are understanding about their child’s attachment to comfort items. A study published in Child Psychiatry and Human Development found that while opinions on when a child should let go of their transitional object varied based on race and class, most parents were generally supportive. So, don’t fret about judgment from others if your “big kid” has a blankie or is dragging a teddy bear around. We totally understand.
Interestingly, a 1998 study revealed that children who form attachments to transitional objects often experience better and more stable bonding with their mothers than those who don’t. So, here’s to the blanky!
However, there is a nuance: teenagers who still cling to a comfort object may show more psychological symptoms and lower overall well-being. This suggests that there may come a time when it’s wise to encourage your child to be less reliant on their security item. If you have concerns, consulting a pediatrician could provide some clarity.
Comfort items have proven beneficial for younger kids as well; they often want to bring their beloved objects to daycare. A 1993 study in Perception and Motor Skills found that these items can help ease transitions and alleviate anxiety in mildly stressful situations. A teddy bear can be a source of comfort when a parent is not around.
This phenomenon may stem from the historical context where children were often made to sleep alone. Studies consistently find that children in the West are more likely to have comfort items. For example, a 2003 study published in the Infant Mental Health Journal found that 62% of American children had comfort objects, while only 38% of Japanese children did. The latter group typically co-sleeps with their mothers, which reduces the need for transitional items.
I co-slept with my children until they were at least two years old, and my youngest two developed strong attachments to their comfort objects. So, a child with a well-worn stuffed toy isn’t necessarily indicative of their sleeping arrangements.
Research also indicates that children raised with attachment parenting methods—like breastfeeding on demand and co-sleeping—are less likely to use comfort objects. A 2004 study in Early Childhood Development and Care highlighted that these children used comfort items only 18.2% of the time and usually weaned off them sooner. So, if you’re keen on your toddler not dragging around a blankie, you could consider constant nursing, but that comes with its own challenges and societal judgments.
That said, I practiced attachment parenting to a degree (I won’t disclose how long my kids nursed, but it was well beyond the American average), and two of them still had comfort items. This shows that research doesn’t always dictate individual experiences, and it’s important not to judge other parents.
Older kids, even those aged seven or ten, might still need their blankies or teddies. Dr. Johnson advises allowing them this comfort, while also setting reasonable boundaries. It’s understandable if a child drags their blankie into a store, but at bedtime, let it slide. They will likely outgrow it in time, and you can assist by washing the item frequently. If you have concerns as they age, consulting a compassionate child psychologist may be beneficial.
Crucially, a 1987 study in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology established that children who have comfort objects are no more insecure or fearful than their peers. Therefore, let them carry their blankets and teddies wherever they go. Dr. Johnson reminds us that it’s unlikely they’ll be bringing their blankie to their wedding day, so there’s no need to rush them to give it up. However, if they’re still attached at fifteen, it might be worth having a discussion with a professional.
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In summary, it’s completely normal for older children to retain a bond with their teddy bears or blankets. These items can provide comfort and security, which are important for their emotional well-being. As they grow, they will eventually outgrow these attachments in their own time.