Trigger warning: stillbirth and loss of a child
In the past month, I have witnessed three mothers face public ridicule for sharing images of their stillborn babies on social media. Three heartbroken mothers, already grappling with unimaginable pain, were further diminished by some truly insensitive remarks.
The harsh words were plastered beneath their photos. One critic labeled a stillborn birth announcement as “inappropriate.” Another person accused the grieving parents of seeking attention, and one individual even went so far as to describe a tiny, innocent baby as “gross.”
Well, I have a few thoughts for these callous detractors. If I could sit down with any of you, I might just lose my cool. Since that’s not an option, let me enlighten you on a topic you clearly know little about.
According to the World Health Organization, approximately 2.6 million stillbirths occur globally each year. That’s 2.6 million lives that deserve acknowledgment and celebration. Yet, it seems you think you know better than the grieving parents how to honor their children. Have you ever experienced the pain of losing a child?
Let’s be clear: your discomfort lasts how long? Until you’ve scrolled past the image? Or until you finish spewing your negativity onto mourning parents? How unfortunate for you. While your comfort is restored the moment you turn away from their heartache, these parents will carry their pain for a lifetime.
And let me ask you this: have you ever shared a photo of your child on social media? Perhaps a joyful announcement of their birth? If you have, how can you not feel deep sympathy for these parents? If you disagree with their decision to publicly acknowledge their stillborn child, then I have no words for you.
Remember, a stillborn baby is STILL-BORN. This isn’t how these parents envisioned their journey when they first saw those two pink lines on a pregnancy test. They didn’t want to post a photo of their stillborn child; they dreamt of sharing images of their lively, rosy-cheeked baby. But life had other plans. They are navigating this tragedy in the way that feels right for them.
If they had photos of their child alive, I can assure you they would share those instead. But since they don’t, they are left with the only memories they can hold onto.
Stillbirth steals from parents the joys of first cries, sleepless nights, birthday celebrations, soccer games, and future grandchildren. So why would you want to take away one more piece of their experience? It is attitudes like yours that have historically made stillbirth a taboo subject. Thankfully, parents like the three I witnessed this month are bravely breaking that silence. Remember, without willingness to share, awareness cannot grow.
To the one who casually tossed around the word “gross,” strive to be a decent human being. Let these parents take pride in the brief life they created. Don’t kick someone when they’re already down. If you can’t say something kind, you know where the unfriend button is. No one is interested in your negativity.
Please understand that you are the outlier here. While others extend heartfelt condolences, your cruel remarks only expose your own insensitivity. A parent’s love is a powerful force that cannot be diminished by your thoughtless comments or the harsh realities of life and loss.
Be kind, for you know nothing of the depths of this heartache.
If you’re looking for more information on related topics, check out this blog post or explore resources like Make A Mom for insights on home insemination. Additionally, UCSF’s fertility treatment page provides excellent guidance for those navigating pregnancy challenges.
Summary:
This article highlights the insensitivity surrounding stillborn baby photos shared on social media. It emphasizes the importance of compassion and understanding towards grieving parents, reminding readers that these parents deserve recognition for their lost children. The piece advocates for kindness and challenges societal taboos surrounding stillbirth.