August 6, 2023
Image Source: Halfpoint/Getty
Imagine yourself in third grade, swinging on the monkey bars during recess, blissfully unaware of anything but the joy of being a child. Suddenly, a classmate approaches you and asks, “Why are your legs so hairy?” In that instant, your innocence is shaken. You start comparing your legs to others, feeling self-conscious about something that never bothered you before.
When I was that age, asking to shave my legs at home was a battle. My mom was adamant that I didn’t need to and thought I was too young. While I know she believed she was acting in my best interest, it didn’t stop me from sneaking in attempts to shave when I thought no one was watching. She always found out—whether it was from my smooth legs or the little nicks I left behind. That one comment from a peer had made me hyper-aware of my body, and I felt self-conscious.
Looking back now as an adult, I realize that the issue was never really about the hair on my legs. My mother’s intentions to teach me about self-acceptance and the harshness of peer judgment were lost on me at the time. When my friends started experimenting with makeup in middle school and I was told I had to wait until I was nearly 16, I felt like I was left out of a party that everyone else was attending.
I’ll always remember one particular sleepover at my friend Sophie’s house, where I felt glamorous with a bit of eyeliner. Yet, I wasn’t allowed to wear shorts until it hit 80 degrees, following a rule from my grandma that my mom enforced. After several kids later, though, it seems my mom loosened those restrictions a bit—sorry little brother, but I see you rocking those shorts!
This topic often stirs up heated discussions in parenting circles. When is the right age for kids to start shaving or wearing makeup? Some moms advocate for letting their daughters shave if they feel uncomfortable while others resist, wanting to keep their kids small in a world that feels like it’s pushing them to grow up too fast (I mean, have you seen some 13-year-olds today?).
If your child is asking to shave because they’re feeling self-conscious, why not let them? There’s no magic age for this decision. If they’re embarrassed about their body, it might be a good time to reflect on your stance. Forcing them to wait to shave in an effort to teach a lesson could backfire, leading to feelings of inadequacy instead.
I’ve seen many posts in parenting forums where mothers share, “I caught her shaving even though I said she couldn’t.” If your child is going behind your back to do this, isn’t that a sign that it’s bothering them? While not every child is the same, the goal we share is to raise strong and confident individuals. Don’t we all feel better when we take care of ourselves and present ourselves in a way that feels right?
Do I wish my kids wouldn’t care about these societal pressures? Absolutely! But if shaving their legs or wearing shorts before it hits 80 degrees builds their confidence, I see that as a small price to pay for their self-esteem and empowerment.
There are moments when it’s essential to stand firm as parents, but this doesn’t seem like one of those times. If you want to explore more about parenting topics, you can check out this insightful article on home insemination. For those considering options for artificial insemination, Make a Mom offers a comprehensive at-home insemination kit. Additionally, Mount Sinai provides excellent resources on infertility.
In summary, it’s essential to listen to your child’s feelings and to foster their confidence. Shaving legs or choosing when to wear shorts shouldn’t be battles worth fighting, especially if it helps them feel empowered in their own skin.