To the fellow sports moms I’ve shared countless moments with;
To my classmates, university friends, and sorority sisters;
To my colleagues and friends of family;
It’s not you; it’s me.
It’s the irrational worries and persistent fears tied to my anxiety that lead me to ignore or decline nearly every friend request that comes my way. And you might think you’re the only one getting left on read.
Here’s a true story: I worked alongside a woman for over two years before even contemplating accepting her Facebook friend request, which she sent just six months into her tenure. We weren’t just casual acquaintances; we were side by side every single day. So why the hesitation? The thought of so many people knowing my personal life was terrifying, and that’s why I maintained a mere 150 friends on Facebook until recently.
What kind of “business” would these people see that made me so anxious?
- Photos of my child at sporting events
- Inspirational quotes I’d shared
- Fun snapshots tagged by my best friend
- Silly puns that made me laugh
You know, the scandalous and embarrassing stuff that makes you cringe.
It’s illogical, I know, but that’s the reality of living with anxiety. It brings a host of irrational thoughts and odd coping mechanisms. In my mind, anyone who wanted to connect was also a potential source of harm—not physically, but in a mean-girl way. To shield myself from unnecessary stress, I unintentionally became a social media snob.
What did this snobbish behavior look like? For me, it meant selectively accepting a tiny circle of friends—those who already knew my secrets (like my sister, best friend, and college roommates) or people from my past who lived far enough away that I didn’t care what they saw. I turned on every privacy setting and made myself nearly unsearchable unless you were a mutual friend. I was particularly wary of friend requests from co-workers or those who asked to connect shortly after meeting me.
I didn’t mean to be rude or exclusive; I was merely protecting myself from an imagined threat.
But now, I’ve decided to confront my anxiety and tackle the fears that have lingered for too long. Guess what topped the list? Yep, social media.
About ten days ago, I threw open the gates. I sifted through around 75 pending requests and accepted 15. I even sent a few requests out myself—progress! But then something surprising happened: my phone lit up with friend requests from all directions. The more notifications I got, the tighter my chest felt.
I reached out to my co-worker, Vanessa, who has been patiently waiting for my response for years. She reassured me that most people simply want to connect. “It’s okay. Just hit the accept button,” she encouraged. So, I did. I accepted the requests and now I have 278 friends! I’ve also made decisions on several other requests, leaving only 15 pending. I consider this a victory.
The takeaway? Facing your fears can be daunting, even if those fears seem trivial to others. If you’re wrestling with the fear of social media (FOSM), know that you’re not alone. And if you’re one of those social media enthusiasts with a ton of friends and funny posts, please keep sharing. The rest of us need some inspiration while we overthink every single request from the soccer coach’s wife.
For more insights on navigating life’s challenges, check out this blog post. If you’re interested in home insemination, this resource is an authority on the subject. Additionally, this site offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
In this personal reflection, I share my journey with social media anxiety, revealing how irrational fears led me to become overly selective with friend requests. By confronting these fears, I’ve made progress by accepting more friends and learning to connect. The experience highlights the importance of facing fears, no matter how trivial they may seem to others.