From the moment I found out I was expecting, I was determined to breastfeed. Having been nursed by my mother well into toddlerhood, I envisioned a similar path for my own child. When my daughter latched effortlessly just minutes after birth, I felt reassured that I was on the right track. Each day brought new confidence, and I was thrilled with how smoothly things were going.
To further my knowledge, I joined various breastfeeding support groups on social media. Engaging with others facing similar challenges felt empowering, and I was eager to share my experiences with my best friend, Jenna. However, while I was thriving, Jenna faced numerous hurdles in her breastfeeding journey, and I couldn’t help but feel for her.
When I get excited about something, I tend to share it extensively, and breastfeeding was no exception. I thought that sharing my insights might offer her some encouragement. Unfortunately, I soon realized that our viewpoints on breastfeeding were starkly different; I was an enthusiastic advocate, while she found the excessive promotion of breastfeeding overwhelming. This disparity created an unspoken tension in our friendship.
The strain between us was never overtly confrontational, but it lingered beneath the surface. I had hoped that we could support each other openly as new moms. However, every time I referenced advice from breastfeeding experts I followed, Jenna would respond with sarcasm. Even though I tried to remain understanding of her struggles, our conversations often ended up feeling one-sided and unproductive.
Eventually, I decided to avoid discussing breastfeeding with her altogether. Yet, my passion for it didn’t fade. I had other friends who were breastfeeding or considering it, and I wanted to share useful information I came across on social media. But every time I did, Jenna would comment negatively, as if challenging my choices. I never intended to provoke her but rather wished to share knowledge.
Her comments made me feel as though I should hide this aspect of my parenting journey. I didn’t want to alienate one of my closest friends, but it felt unjust to be made to feel guilty for my breastfeeding enthusiasm. I wanted to celebrate our milestones without worrying if it would come across as bragging.
Jenna’s negativity loomed over my achievements like a dark cloud. Each time I contemplated sharing positive breastfeeding content, I hesitated, fearing her response. On one occasion, a heated argument broke out between Jenna and a supportive friend on my post, leading me to delete the entire thing out of frustration. It seemed far easier to erase my content than to navigate the conflict.
I recognized that Jenna’s reactions stemmed from her own insecurities, yet constantly tiptoeing around her feelings left me feeling resentful. Now that my daughter has been weaned for some time, I reflect with pride on our breastfeeding journey. However, I still long for the opportunity to openly celebrate it. Even now, sharing pro-breastfeeding content elicits a predictable negative response from her.
One day, Jenna even expressed concern that I was becoming a “lactivist.” If she had a strong passion for a topic, I would have been supportive of her—regardless of our differing views. But I will always remember how unsupportive she was about something that meant so much to me, and it really hurt.
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Summary
Navigating my breastfeeding experience was challenging, especially when my close friend Jenna struggled with her own journey. Our differing views on breastfeeding created tension and made it difficult to share my pride in our accomplishments. Although I sought to support my friend, her negativity ultimately made me hesitant to celebrate a significant aspect of my parenting. Reflecting on this experience, I wish I had been able to advocate for breastfeeding without fear of backlash.