There’s a notion floating around that some moms and their kids eagerly anticipate summer—dreaming of lazy mornings sleeping in, sipping lemonade, and chasing fireflies in the evening. I’m convinced this is nothing more than a fairy tale, at least for us in the autism community.
In our household, everything remains pretty much the same. Sure, there are a few adjustments to the schedule, but those changes are meticulously planned. Trust me, I have to present these modifications to my “boss,” and the negotiations can rival a labor union discussion. Plus, I can’t exactly threaten to “walk away.”
While other families may look forward to leisurely mornings, my son is still up at the crack of dawn. That’s two-fold: 1) He wakes up early every day of the year, and 2) We are still in session. Yes, you heard that right! That year-round schooling concept you joke about with other moms in August? We live it. But before you start thinking, “Wow, she’s so fortunate,” hold that thought. My son attends school to prevent regression over the summer. This isn’t a bonus; it’s a necessity. (Pro tip: Call it a summer camp to my face, and we might have a problem.) My son needs that structure. And guess what? His school day starts even earlier than during the regular year. My coffee maker deserves a medal.
An unstructured day? Not in our world. We still attend school and juggle therapy appointments. Plus, we have the added challenge of preparing for appointment rescheduling when therapists decide to take vacations. How dare they! I still remember when my son’s music therapist took a week off because his wife had a baby; my immediate reaction was, “Well, you didn’t have the baby, did you? What gives?” Yeah, I can be a bit of a jerk like that.
Every winter, my husband and I experience what I call “Vacation Amnesia” and impulsively book a week for a classic family getaway. Reality hits hard when I start drafting my “To Pack” list, which grows longer each year. Nothing showcases maternal love quite like whisper-yelling through gritted teeth, “Please be quiet! Other guests are sleeping!” If you think your child is quiet, take them on vacation. You’ll quickly learn just how loud they can be when the hotel front desk calls with a noise complaint. (Pro Tip: Leave a generous tip for the housekeeping staff. Trust me on this one.)
Lazy summer days? Not here. We wake up at the same early hour, and I’m not far behind my son heading to bed each night. Maintaining a schedule is vital for helping him manage his autism. Yes, we do get a brief period between the end of the school year and the start of the Extended School Year (ESY), also known as summer school, but it’s a tight squeeze to keep him engaged. Downtime? That’s a recipe for anxiety. Autism doesn’t take a summer break. I strive to make his summer enjoyable, but we have to adjust certain things. BBQ gatherings? I’ll be feeding him beforehand or bringing his own food. Fireworks? Oh, where are those noise-canceling headphones? Without them, my son might try to climb back into my womb. Pool parties? You haven’t witnessed hovering until you’ve seen an autism mom in action. His love for water, combined with his “NO FEAR” attitude, can be quite alarming.
It may not fit the typical definition of a fun summer, but it’s our reality. Now, please excuse me while I draft a social story explaining the importance of sunscreen for a kid with sensory sensitivities about putting it on.
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Summary
Summer days in an autism household are anything but lazy. With a carefully structured schedule, continued schooling, and therapy appointments, parents must adapt to ensure their children thrive. While there may be challenges, like vacation logistics and sensory sensitivities, the focus remains on making the summer enjoyable and manageable.
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