One of my favorite pastimes when my daughter was a baby was watching her through the window of her preschool. Since her daycare was conveniently located in the same building as my workplace, I would sneak away for a few moments to get my baby fix. Unbeknownst to her, I could observe her interacting freely with her friends and teachers. It was always delightful, and sometimes I would discover new things about her.
Once, after she transitioned into the toddler room, I arrived just in time to witness the end of lunchtime. I was stunned to see my “helpless” little one finish her meal, toss her plate into the trash, and then grab a towel to wipe her spot at the table. At home, she was usually strapped into her high chair, where I would spoon-feed her every bite. Afterward, I cleaned up while she played with her toys, waiting for my instructions.
I was amazed by this independent little girl at daycare; I wanted that version of her at home! I approached her teacher that day, seeking to uncover how they managed to instill such helpfulness. Her response was enlightening: children can grasp a great deal by the time they’re one year old, and it’s beneficial to introduce them to simple chores. They are eager to demonstrate their understanding.
It hit me—my daughter could have been contributing around the house for months. In my eagerness to keep her my baby, I overlooked her readiness for responsibility. That evening, I decided to test the waters. Would she be open to helping out at home, even though she hadn’t done so before?
After dinner, I took her out of her high chair and placed the tray on the floor. Handing her a rag, I asked her to wipe it off. To my surprise, she happily obliged! As she worked, her smile radiated pride, and she kept glancing back at me for approval. This was a turning point; from then on, I included her in various household tasks. While she wasn’t doing dishes just yet, she would dust furniture or help push the vacuum cleaner. Eventually, she began noticing small tasks on her own, like tossing away paper or straightening up items.
Fast forward to now, and my daughter, who is 9 years old, remains incredibly helpful. She seldom complains when asked to pitch in, and she often finds chores she enjoys doing without any prompting. I can’t help but wonder how different things might have been if I hadn’t witnessed her helping out that day in preschool. Would she have been less motivated? Would I have to plead with her to assist now?
Research by psychologists Felix Warneken and Michael Tomasello suggests that babies are innately altruistic; they desire to help without expecting anything in return. My 15-month-old son also enjoys tossing items in the trash, putting things away, and picking items off the floor. Toddlers naturally want to assist, and it’s essential for us to encourage this desire.
True, it might take a bit longer to complete tasks when our little ones lend a hand, but that extra time spent now will pay off later when you have a capable 9-year-old who can tackle the dishes independently. We must prioritize allowing our kids to learn and grow. While it’s tempting to let them remain little forever, toddlers will eventually grow up. By integrating chores and responsibilities early on, we can shape children who contribute willingly rather than begrudgingly.
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In summary, encouraging toddlers to participate in chores not only fosters independence but also sets the stage for a future where they willingly contribute to household tasks.