As a working mother, I often find myself caught in the whirlwind of trying to do it all, and it’s taking a toll on my well-being. When I was a child, I imagined my life as a blend of the perfect mother and a thriving professional. I aspired to be the kind of mom who bakes cookies on a whim and greets her children after school, while also achieving career success similar to my single mother’s hard work and independence.
Childhood Dreams vs. Reality
As a young girl, I dreamt of various professions—working in a grocery store, teaching, midwifery, or writing. I envisioned pouring my heart into my career while also being the attentive, nurturing mom I wished for as a child. I wanted to provide my kids with the kind of involvement that I felt was missing during my own upbringing.
However, reality hit hard when my first child arrived. I had to leave my prestigious position as a college English instructor because childcare costs were too high. Although I faced financial struggles, I was fortunate enough to embrace the role of a stay-at-home mom for several years. Fast forward a decade, and with both of my boys in school full-time, I now juggle almost full-time work from home while managing all household duties.
The Challenges of Working from Home
Despite the perks of working from home, I still shoulder the majority of household responsibilities—cooking, cleaning, and childcare, along with the mental and emotional labor of managing our family’s life. My days start with waking up with the kids, preparing breakfast, and battling them to eat and get dressed before sending them off to school. I then dive straight into work, often scrambling to finish tasks just before school pick-up.
While my husband, Ben, is an involved dad, his job has traditionally lacked the flexibility that allows him to share the load equally. Recently, he transitioned to a new role that hopefully will give him more time to engage in family life and share household responsibilities. We’re both navigating the challenges of work-life balance, knowing that financial constraints prevent us from hiring outside help.
Adjusting Expectations
Finding a solution has involved adjusting my expectations. I’ve realized that striving for perfection is unrealistic. Maybe I can say no to some school events and allow my kids to become a little more independent to carve out some breathing room for myself. “Good enough” is the new standard, and I’m embracing it. What’s most important is that my children thrive with a happy mom rather than one overwhelmed by unrealistic expectations.
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Conclusion
In summary, being a working mom who tries to balance it all can feel overwhelming. Our society often places unrealistic expectations on women, making it imperative to reassess what “doing it all” really means. Prioritizing well-being over perfection is essential for both mothers and their families.