By: Maria Thompson
Time and time again, I find myself saying sorry, even when I know I shouldn’t. I struggle to understand why I care so much about the opinions of others regarding my son’s needs. But I’ve decided enough is enough. No more apologies for either of us.
The sign at the inclusive children’s gym, “We Embrace Every Child,” resonates deeply with me. Here, there’s no need for anyone to say “I’m sorry.”
Before my son Ethan’s autism diagnosis was confirmed, I often confided in my partner about my frustrations. I longed for a space tailored for families like ours—where Ethan could run freely without the fear of escaping. A place where flicking light switches wouldn’t cause distress, and where we could connect with other families facing similar challenges without needing to justify our actions or behavior.
I had researched various options: sensory-friendly events at local attractions, special movie screenings, and designated hours at museums. It was such a relief to finally experience some joy at places like We Embrace Every Child, LEGOLAND, and amusement parks that provided accommodations for those with disabilities.
Attending a family boating festival for kids with disabilities was an incredible experience. Each family enjoyed a private boat ride, and it felt amazing to be accepted without needing to apologize. The staff understood the importance of inclusivity, creating a haven for families like mine. These experiences were like a breath of fresh air, a much-needed escape from the pressures of conforming to societal norms.
In the outside world, however, the weight of expectation loomed heavily. I often felt the need to apologize for Ethan’s unique way of navigating the world. I worried you might misunderstand him and misinterpret his behaviors. It’s true; many people do.
Ethan thrives on routine and often prefers to make choices—be it the color of his shirt, the path we take, or the topics of conversation. He needs support during transitions and may express himself in ways that seem unusual. Whether it’s making unexpected loud noises, needing to hide in tight spaces, or throwing himself on the floor to self-regulate, his actions are not to be taken personally. I won’t apologize for him anymore.
He is learning and growing, attempting to decode a world filled with confusing social cues and sounds. His interests may focus on specific details that might escape others’ notice, and he may repeat himself in excitement.
He may not greet you when you say hello, and he might spend much of the time engrossed in his iPad. He may not engage with you but could offer a smile to someone else nearby. I refuse to say “sorry” for this behavior. It’s not out of malice; I simply can’t bear the burden of everyone’s feelings on my shoulders any longer.
Looking back, I realize that I apologized out of fear and a desire for normalcy in a rapidly changing world. Each time I said “I’m sorry,” I was fighting battles that didn’t matter. What my son truly needed was for me to embrace him as he is, without explanations or justifications. I want you to understand this with love: I am done apologizing for both him and myself.
For more supportive resources, you can check out this website to find helpful articles on various topics, including home insemination. Additionally, this link offers comprehensive insights into at-home insemination kits. For those seeking guidance on pregnancy, this blog is an excellent resource filled with valuable information.
In summary, I’ve made a commitment to stop apologizing for my son’s autism. He is unique, and I am proud of him. It’s time to embrace our journey without fear of judgment.