Last week, my daughter turned five. Five! It’s hard to believe I’ve been a mother for five years now. While I’m far from an expert, I’ve certainly moved beyond the early stages of parenting.
You might notice that I didn’t post about her birthday on social media. It simply slipped my mind amidst the chaos of our busy lives. Yet, I can assure you that if I were celebrating my son with Down syndrome, I wouldn’t have forgotten to share that moment with the world.
Now, before you think this is a self-critical rant, let me clarify: I choose to share more about my son with Down syndrome than my other two children because I feel compelled to challenge a widespread misconception about his existence. Some people believe that he shouldn’t be here at all.
When I revealed to others that I knew during my pregnancy that he would have Down syndrome, the reaction was often one of discomfort. I once had a stranger express regret that I found out mid-way through my pregnancy, implying that it made my situation more complicated.
People see my son’s joyful face and sometimes pity him, thinking he leads a less fulfilled life. I can understand this perspective – I had similar thoughts when we first received his diagnosis. I initially viewed that extra chromosome as a loss rather than a unique addition to our family.
That’s why I talk more about my middle child. It’s not that he’s more significant than his siblings; it’s that I want to shed light on the misconceptions surrounding his life.
I want to emphasize that just because I post more about my son with Down syndrome doesn’t mean he is loved more. His sister, the birthday girl, is a ray of sunshine in our lives. She embodies everything we could wish for in a daughter – she’s cheerful, empathetic, and brings joy effortlessly. When she wears her favorite shirt that says “Best day ever!” she truly means it. Everyone who knows her can attest to her spirit, and when we’re out, no one feels the need to question her existence.
To be honest, I sometimes worry about my son overshadowing her needs. His requirements can be more demanding, and I’m conscious of that balance. Nonetheless, I’m committed to ensuring that both of my children receive the attention they deserve.
As parents of children with special needs, we often share more about their lives to connect with communities that understand our experiences. We aim to advocate for a world that recognizes the value of their lives, not because they are more important, but because they deserve visibility.
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In summary, my focus on my son with Down syndrome stems from a desire to combat misconceptions and advocate for his life, rather than any notion of favoritism. Each of my children brings unique joy and challenges, and it’s essential to recognize their significance in our family.